The Real Nicole.

Today i took a few of my youth kids to a youth conference. it was a great conference and totally awesome to see people of so many different ages, worshipping and serving wholeheartedly. In the talks the speaker talked about having a vision for 2020 and looking toward that goal now, and working at that now. All the young people in that room will have finished high school by 2020, and be adults of at least 20y/o which is about how old i am, which was weird as i sat there thinking about that. i thought about where i wanted to be in 2020 - thats 8 years away making me 28 years old! There is so many things i hope i have achieved by then, but i am so confused and challeneged by what God wants me to have done and be doing by then. i always imagined i would be married   - with a child or two by the time i was 28 i WILL be finished studying ! I think i want to be a youth pastor   I think i want to do ministry   i want to have travelled overseas before im 28 ...

This week has been a funny week for me in terms of head space, i was struggling with something and i didnt know who to turn to and felt quite lonely because i felt like i didnt have any female friends to chit chat about the silly things with (looking back, i realise how silly that thought was then). I decided to first turn to God, i told Him of how lonely i felt and that i was struggling with something but wasnt ready to tell Him about it yet, but that i needed a good quality friend to cross my path at the right time to talk this over and remind me that i needed to give it over to Him. The next day this situation was on my mind all day and i just repeated, God give me someone to share my struggle with. Evening arrived and i still had stuff on my mind, i had logged on to Facebook but wasnt doing anything on it, aimlessly scrolling while watching TV, my laptop was sitting next to me for a while and i noticed one of my best friends who i had'nt spoken to in a few weeks had started ...