The Real Nicole.

 It's been 200 days since restrictions came into place for the Covid19 Pandemic and i've been in various lockdown restrictions. I've been in a mood  for about a week now. I want to be really clear straight up, I think the restrictions are completely necessary and I am grateful that I have been kept safe and healthy from what is a very contagious virus and im thankful that by these restrictions i've been able to keep vulnerable people around me safe.  The thing is, i've just had enough. In Melbourne, things really suck and it's still a while until things are going to get better. We have done an amazing job going from 700 cases a day to 14 a day. But its been a long 6 months. And with new clusters and little outbreaks around the place, its still long from over.  Its been a long time of being alone, of not seeing friends or family, its been a long time of not being able to do things such as shopping or exercising the way you are used to. A long time of checking you...

I went to NYALC (National Young Adult leaders Conference) this last week and I sort of hoped to have a break from leadership. In hindsight a leadership conference probably wasn't the best place for a rest and time away from leadership and ministry. But I did have a fab time. One of the things I was most challenged about was around who I am and the confidence I can have in who and what God has called me to be.  I often find myself feeling so fearful of the future and what might be in store for me. I also doubt if I am skilled, passionate or charismatic enough to do these things I'm called to do. We spent a bit of time at NYALC talking around being created in Gods image and being a child of God knowing He has gone before us.  Relating my Christian faith to family has always been something I've really struggled with and this week I wrestled with it even more than I have previously. What does it mean to say you are a child of God? When we look at family and how ...

One thing that totally blows my mind and overwhelms me is how much my life has changed in 6 months.  Now I don't mean that in a bad way, because some of the things I've done and achieved is awesome. But it really does shock me.  6 months ago I was living at home and leading in the youth group of the church I grew up in. I wasn't unhappy, I fact I loved it, I was exploring what God wanted me to do though. With my whole life for a long time. I like details, and I don't feel like I have very many in that category. But God has sent me on this awesome journey to the country and I really love it here. I love the community and the slower pace, I love that I feel safe walking around and generally being here and there is loo worry about doors not being locked and stuff.  I love the sporting community and atmosphere, I totally would have done sport growing up if it was like that in the city and you didn't have to pay a million bucks and be elite to get good sporting communi...

Early last year i wrote a blog about a passage that spoke about family and being a leader in the church.  I seriously questioned if i was good enough to lead or if i was disqualified from leading in the church because of the broken relationships in my life.  You can read about it here....     http://nicole7992.blogspot.com.au/2012/04/am-i-qualified.html When i wrote that blog i didn't really think i could do much with these relationships and it felt like a weight on me, i was reminded however by friends that I could used my story to help young people going through the same to find a way out. Even though i knew this i didn't feel that freedom as a leader with it all. This term i have been on Uni placement and i have been looking at the role of a school chaplain.  This placed me in a school context.  i was at Kings Baptist Grammar School which is a private school in the northern suburbs, it is such a beautiful school with such a lovely community.  Th...