The Real Nicole.

Recently i went on a roadtrip with mates from uni to Canberra for a national conference (NTE) with the christian uni groups of Australia(AFES). It was just over 15 hours to drive there so we had plenty of time to talk and hang out. This was an interesting trip for me as the group of people i went with were all different people and a few had very different personalities to me. After a few hours you realise the people that kind of irritate you a little are going to be with you the whole way. So very quickly i had to learn patience or i swear i wouldn't have survived. One thing i found beautiful during the trip was the hay plains and just the beautiful outback and hills that God had created. When we were travelling was a quite hot day. It was about 30degrees celsius but felt much hotter in the non air conditioned car. But I loved seeing the beams of sunlight beam through the clouds and onto the plains. It was beautiful to drive along and just sing songs of worship to God and rea

You make beautiful things You make beautiful things out of the dust You make beautiful things You make beautiful things out of us I was reminded of this song when i was struggling, struggling to see good out of my situation, struggling to see myself in the same way God sees me and struggling to see how God could use me and my situation for good. these lines just went through my head on repeat and i began to again see the beauty in things all around me. Beauty in others, in the environment, in Art, in music, Even beauty in the hard times. I was reminded of Gods great love and how indeed the things in life, in our world which we take for granted are beautiful things which God created. This song played on repeat in my head as i road tripped to Canberra with friends. As we drove through the plains and the hills and through the country i was blessed with such beauty. Even the dust storm had a certain beauty to it :) God makes Beautiful things!!!

In the bible it talks about Honouring your parents, I desire for a life which honours my parents but also a life which follows the calling God has on my life.. The problem comes when the calling on my life from God is something which my parents don't like. Something which won't please my parents because it's not something they class as a legitimate life decision. I have recently made a few changes in my life (Which i can't reveal just yet as you will understand the reasons why soon) and need to tell my Parents these new plans. I have struggled to see the positive result of letting them know where i was going and what i was doing. I was chatting to my mentor about it and how i wanted to make my parents proud and was worried what i was doing was dishonouring them. I didnt know how to approach the situation. She asked me what i thought it meant to honour my parents. I thought about it and what i thought was not honouring them as such but more doing what they wanted. Ni

As you probably have been able to work out and read, recently ive felt a real sense of unease toward where my life was going. I felt that God had put a real passion on my heart for Youth and Youth ministry within my church but i was uncertain for what that meant for my current study and was unsure what it meant if i was to change. What would i do? Was where i thought i was going the right direction for me? Is it something God wants me to do? What would I do if it didn't work out? I found myslef tossing and turning at night struggling over my doubt. I picked up a book i was given at my baptism by a lovely friend called His Princess - Love letters from your King By Sherri Rose Shepherd. this is what i read... "wait on me, my Princess. My timing is always perfect. I know you're anxious about many things, and i see your passion for all the plans i have put in your heart. I know that you long to fly, and i see your enthusiasm. However, just as a vinedresser nutures the vine a

So some of my friends have previously come to me wanting support because they have depression and cant seem to shake their mood. I've always tried to be there for them but ive always struggled to understand depression and other such mental health issues even though ive always wanted to understand so i could support. I couldnt see why people didnt stop reflecting on the negative and started looking to the stuff that was going right in thier life. i just didnt get it no matter how hard i tried. Luckly my friends have mostly gone through that stage of their life now and are recovering and moving on from the things which were holding them down. right now i have that feeling i cant throw. its an awful place to be in. I see the wider picture and have responsibility and feel the need to have what i do sorted out to be able to effectivelt lead and be a role model. but to be honest im hurting. i feel empty, cloudy and alone. i want to cry but i want to look tough. it sucks. i dont know

Sometimes things just suck, sometimes life hurts and sometimes things just get too much. If im really honest that reflects whats going on my my head a lot recently. On the outside i seem to have it under control, i look happy i seem to be going places. but inside im screaming out for help, i feel empty, alone, lonely, bored and disinterested. Everything seems too hard..but its too nice a weather to cry. I was emailing my young adults pastor and said this to him, and replied just be real about it with God. I was like what?! wow! thats kinda cool. God cares about our real issues and how we feel about stuff. i've spent so long getting to a place in my life where i can be real with my emotions to myslef but also to a few select others but i hadnt really thought about getting real about it with God. my prayer for my life is for real, raw and honest chats with God. For the decication , faith and belief in handing over my stuff to him. my prayer is for it to be the first place i turn.

So as i said in an earlier post, my young adults pastor was talking about his top five bible verses nad since that conversation ive been challenged to think about five verses which mean something to me and why they mean something and what they are teaching me. I have decided on my top five currently. they are not in any particular order but this is what i have Colossians 3:23 (NIV) 23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters I really like this verse and even though it is one of the cliche verses i wrote about i feel like you can't not like it. I love the reminder and encouragement to work at things for God rather then trying to please others. I recently were challenged that this didnt just mean physical things i was doing such as work/Uni but also working at forgiveness/compassion/removing evil desires from my life etc. 1 Corinthians 15:33 (NIV) 33 Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.” Just one sentance bu

Jesus had a close circle of friends which he shared his life with. Then he had a larger group of 12 which he taught and continued to share life with to a lesser level. Again he had a bigger group of friends/accuantinces which he shared with and spend some time with. Its quite obvious i dont know all the theological story behind it but for a few years since i first read more about Jesus and his life ive craved to have friendships like Jesus did. This year i have made the most incredible bunch of friends. These girls and a few guys have put the foundation of our friendship in Jesus and its been a blessing to frequently go with them to God with troubles and concerns. As the year draws to an end and we find ourselves in cotcact less due to distance between each other i feel blessed knowing that they will be praying for me just as i am praying for them this summer. I get super emotional thinking about next year and what it has in store for us all with a few of us going in different dire

So recently i was chatting with the Young Adults pastor at church about random stuff as we were hanging out nad he was showing me the posters he was making for his office wall with his top five bible verses of that time. He asked me if i had some and all i could think of was those verses which everyone kinda of knows. I mentioned that i thought all mine were the cliche verses and his response was asimple but heaps clear message. "the well known verses still have meaning, imagine if everyone had those verses on their heart." Its so true if everyone held tight to verses which are well known how much change would we see in the world, in confiedence, in God and in Life. Therefore i pick the cliche! Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his pu

On the October long weekend i coordinated my church group for SAYCO which is the South Australian Youth Camp Out. I'll be honest it was a lot of work and quite stressful, but it is something that was so rewarding, successful, encouraging and challenging. Saturday i found really hard as a leader, everything seemed so obvious to me and achievable but when it was actually happening everything seemed so difficult. I struggled with my own leadership skills, i wasnt confiedent that i would actually be listened too. Youth kids didnt listen to me, youth leaders were frustrated and telling me they hated me coz i was making them put tents up. i didnt make it to the first session till half way through which wasnt the best option since i was leading a small group and only had a junior as my other leader. Dinner on saturday night was stressful, the BBQ didnt work until much later so we were so behind in sorting dinner, this meant we were late getting places. that was the second session i had

so these last few weeks ive been really struggling with what control the Devil has in this world and where God stands in it all... i know it seems pretty obvious but a sermon at church the other week didnt sit well with me about this and now im wreseling with Satans power in this world. Also im struggling to see how God has control of my Uni and where he is leading me with it all. Although i seem to be pretty confused about this. God is really showing me the people to talk to about this and our conversations are producing a greater understanding on christianity. I dont claim to know all or understand even half of the stuff im taught but this is what i learnt from this trial... God gave us (Adam and Eve) a choice because God wanted us to choose to love him. Because we decided to go against God's will we handed over power to the devil (in serpent form). Ultimately God is in control but because He gave us the choice but because we let sin into the world we gave power to satan. When

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered; Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; Be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you’ve got anyway. You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God; It was never between you and them anyway. - Mother Teresa What a poem! What a statement! Its between you and God! Often we do things to get noticed, to be able to add it to your resume, to feel worth somethin more. Whatever the sistuation, what eve

If you know the lord's been good to you If you know the lord's been good to you If you know the lord's been good to you come on and dance dance dance dance Aint no party like a holy ghost party coz a holy ghost party dont stop! What a song. I've been listening to IHOPU music on youtube and this song called Holy Ghost Party came on. It reminded me of the freedom i have in Christ and the freedom i feel when worshiping Him. Our Lord has been so good to us and because of that we can dance in this freedom we can freely worship him! True dedication to worship doesnt stop. God is greater then all things and His party goes on forever! In all you do worship in this freedom!

Recently i've realised just how much i love my brother. I guess i've always kinda seen my brother as someone i've had to support and guide quite a bit. He never was one to take ownership of anything he did. I wanted to see he become an outward person, (which looking back now was probably quite silly as i wanted him to be someone he wasnt really). At the start of this year i looked at the youth of my church and struggled to see a generation passionate about adding their bit to church, a generation that were fired up to live for God. I wondered who would step up to lead their peers in getting excited for Jesus. My brother has become that guy. recently he has taken real ownership of his faith of firing up his mates to bring them along, letting his friends at school know about youth so they can come, hoping that when they do youth kids will be heaps welcoming and will show his friend Jesus. He's a diffeent Guy! Such a maturity has come over him in his fait

I asked God for to give me suffering so that i could fully take up my cross for Him. God answers prayer, i feel like this semester is going to be a really tough semester with trials and pain but I will PRAISE God for the opportunity to grow and be strengthened. In Romans 5:3-7 it talks about character building. It says that joy in Suffering builds Perseverence and perserevernce builds Character and Character builds Hope. What a great thing to have Hope! I pray that through my suffering this semester and into my future i will build perseverence, Character and Hope. I pray that because of my suffering other my turn to Christ. I will take up my cross in order to serve God!

About a month ago i went to a kids leadership conference. At the conference the speaker said something about adding something to every situation. I didnt really think much about it but the last few weeks in the kids program we did a rotational program and i was following a group but didnt have any responsibility really (just looking after the group). I began to observe attitudes of the year 4,5,6, and 7 girls in my group and how in situations where maybe they werent enjoying what was going on as much as others how they responded. God spoke to me in that moment and reminded me of the conference and how it was said to add something in every situation. I was encouraged by Gods message in my life to add something positive in situtions where you might not what to add to it. But also encouraged that it was a message for my girls too and not just something while i needed to do. God wants us to show his light through situations and If we make the best of all situations by adding one thing i

I feel like some things are really hard to give over to God. In my mind i often believe i would personally lose something if i gave over some things to God. I know this is just a mindset and that God really would have control but i still worry. However when it comes to worship. I feel so free to worship. I'm fortunate i live in a country without religious persecution. A place where when i'm walking to the bus i can freely listen to worship songs and even sing them out and not get arrested. I love worship because i can completely worship and i have no one else to worship. I have nothing to lose by worshipping with all i have. At church recently ive noticed that a lot of people are afraid of worshipping wholeheartedly. They seem to be worried that people will judge them. Ive been questioned for how i worship and if i realise im the only one doing it and i really don't care because when im singing worship, im totally free. Worship with all you have. God deserves your all.

God has called me...God has called you... In fact God has called everyone. The special thing about it is that our calling is for us alone. I believe God called me to work with people. In a Social Worker kind of way. I dont know what he is gonig to do with my degree when i get it but i know he will use it for good. God has called me to Hope Valley my church. He has called me to the young people there. I many not know if the ministries im in is the way he has called me to these people but i know for the time being me being in these ministries are beneficial. People say i am doing to much or making my life to busy. They may be right. But what do i give up to free myslef up? The Kids ive taught for years now and have such a passion to see grow. The youth which is an area i see a real need for love and care and an area i want to devote my life too. Or do i give up my group? the group devoted to building me up? Do i belong in that group when i also have a group like that at uni im invol

So ive always thought i was a born leader, a natural at leading, Bossy as many people call it. But i never thought it was a bad thing. I've been to so many leadeship conferences, training days etc and its just something ive generally found myself good at. At easter camp this year, i went under the assumption i was leading my youth small group... ( i would have gone to camp anyway by still was pretty excited about leading) i wasnt leading, they didnt need me to lead as the youth girls only were in one group rather then what they initially thought of 2 groups. I felt a bit like i wasn't appreciated as a leader and that i wasnt really given a chance to show how amazing i was. i was a bit grumpy about it all.. i had a pretty bad attitude the first day and a bit of camp because of it. then i realised i ddint need to be an offical leader on camp to be a leader and a way for me to lead was to just build into the lives of my youth girls through hanging out with them and being a goo

In my previous blog i talked about the emptiness i felt at camp in the spirit and how i just had so many questions about how God chooses to move and everything. I was talking to one of the guys fro my church who had preached at camp and had prayed for me and i asked about Gods spirit and its workings. We talked about it for a while but it was obvious there was more to this conversation then a facebook chat and maybe we would actualy meet up and discuss at a later date. As he was going away he reminded me that the Scriptures were awesome and a way straight to what God wanted to tell us, and encouraged me to read them. So thats just what i did. Tuesday was a public holiday so i spent the day lazying around i decided to read the bible and thought i would read Acts as i was interested in learning about the Spirits movements and knew Acts was a good book to talk about that. just over 5 hours later i had finished reading Acts and journalling my way through it. So much awesome stuff happene

Easter Camp this year was a bit of a weird experience for me. Camp was so good because i got to hang with the other youth leaders heaps and get to know them. Made me feel like i really fitted in and was one of them. I also got to hang out and have a few deep convos with some of the youth girls. this was really cool coz i could share of my faith and got to find out a bit about what God was challenging them with. i loved to see God at work in the lives of others and especially when i got to see how GOd was working in the lives of my friends. gaev me a few tears! i was a bit let down thou because i felt like i didnt really get to connect with the people my age. This time last year we were so tight everything was fun and there didnt seem to be much complication. Everything felt like it had changed this year. there were awkward tensions between people and we just werent a tight group. i missed that. i miss my friends. i miss fitting in. i miss true honest and raw friendship. i feel like

As of lately i have been feeling a bit disconnected and i guess you could say not loved and valued in my church. i was wondering whether God was still calling me to Hope Valley or if it was my time to gosomewhere else and use my gifts somewhere else. On the 19th of April the Paul Colman Trio band came to HOpe Valley for their Adelaide gig. Our youth group were running the night as a service project so as a youth leader i was there helping out and having a good time. not only did i get a new found love for an awesome band but i also got to meet and get to know some of the youth girls in our youth ministry better and see then work with such a servant heart. It was actually beautiful! i also had something i will call a God moment that evening. As i have stated i was feeling a bit unvalued and not heaps loved in the community at Hope Valley, and that evening was not much different feelings wise. however as i was leaving i went and grabbed my handbag from the kitchen where i had left i

INETGRITY... its a pretty big word. Means some pretty tough stuff at times, but stuff which is totally worth it and something in which you can hold your head high. recently at church the sermon was about living with inetgrity. i was moved by this message as i had felt like i was someone who was pretty honest and someone which didnt really struggle with all that much but the stuff i did struggle with was well hidden and hidden deep away. i came to a realisation... i'm only hiding it from the world. God still knows its there and he still wants me to be honest with it too.. i was heaps challenged with it. i wasnt at a place where there i could confess what i was hiding but i know God wants me to and know how much freer i will be living once ive given it up to him and can live with inetgrity and honesty.

ES is the Christain group at Uni, it stands for Evangelical Students. The people ive met through this group are simply amazing, they have a real heart for God and to see people chnged for Christ on Campus at Uni. ES have really taught and challanged where i stand with my faith. Why do i Believe what i believe? What does the bible actually me to me? What does the Gospel actually mean to mean? and How do i actively live out what i know through Christ? The Flinders, Magill and Mawson LAkes ES groups meet every Tuesday night for an awesome night of Fellowship, Worship, Prayer and Teaching this awesomeness is called TNT! this would have to be my favourite part of the week. I've be so challenged and encouraged of my faith through the four weeks that has been on so far. Ive really been encouraged to think about my faith Journey and the story i have with my personal faith and think about where Jesus sits in that. Where does the Gospel come into it? the heart of the gospel and what i believ

In a few years i will be emerging in the social work field as a professional. At the moment it seems so far away but its really not and i think it pays now to think what kind of social worker i want to be. i also think of my fatih in God and how i want to live that out in my career and the rest of my life. i want God to be an active part of my life and be the reason for the decisions i make i want God to lead me and to do that i know it will take me some adjusting... it will require me to follow but thats what im willing to do... i think this song says pretty clearly what i want it life. take a look and read the lyrics... pretty powerful i think if your applying it to ur whole life! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ajIFfSaEzE You live among the least of these The weary and the weak And it would be a tragedy For me to turn away All my needs You have supplied When I was dead You gave me life How could I not give it away so freely? And I’ll… Follow You into the homes of the broken Follow Y

there has been lots on my mind since i started uni. Its generally a positive thing but its massively filling my mind and testing and challenging me. i have been really challenged with the friendships i had in relation to how Jesus had a circle of 3 which were his close friends. i questions who were my real firneds and who were people going along for a ride. i was sick of friendships which seemed very one sided. i wanted someone to ask me how i was or randomly text me. not it always be the other way around. i was really challenged on my faith at uni through many things. firstly through what we were being taught and where i sat with it but also with meeting new people from different walks of life and all with points of view and trying to work out where i stood in relation to them. i knew that God tells us to love God love people but i didnt know where the bible stood on things such as homosexuality andother things. i think ive settled into uni ok... work is still a little overwhelming wi

Ive done so much since i last wrote and this last month has been an incredible month of growth, change and questions. i got accepted into Uni which i was really surprised about and will be studying a bachelor of social Work. its exactly where i felt called to be and where i really wanna be. im excited about the ministries God is gonna open though uni and the people im gonna come in contact with. i went to CE camp over New year. it was an incredible time of personal growth and a time where God challenged me about wholeheartedly trusting God with my life first rather then trying in my own strength. i was really challenged at hte time to find out what that truely looked like and what it meant. i was also challenged with the idea of mentors. I have an amazing mentor who really just wants to help me grow, but there was so much i just didnt share i didnt open up with and wasnt honest with. Many parts of my life which i just didnt want to share in risk of being found to be stupid. God Cha