The Real Nicole.

I saw this cartoon by naked pastor in March right at the start of the COVID-19 pandemic lockdown and I wondered if Pastor Don might actually be me by the end of the lockdown. Now I didn’t imagine we wouldn’t meet as a congregation for 38 weeks and that I’d only be there for 3 before finishing up in my role as pastor, but hey that’s what happened.  My role being made redundant has forced me to confront the questions and challenges in my head, face on and question what is next for me in terms of church, worship, ministry and a place of belonging.  It’s no secret that I struggle with a Sunday liturgy, the motions and rules and rhythm of worship, do not interest me, I find it hard to see God in those words and would much rather be at morning tea talking over life and theology with the community.  The COVID-19 pandemic has forced us as a society to reconsider many things, and I wonder if we have done enough thinking or if when we were/are able if we have snuck back to our o...

 I’ve just finished reading ‘Post Traumatic Church Syndrome’ by Reba Riley and I found this book really life giving and validating for my faith experience.  You see, over the last few years I’ve been wrestling with the deconstruction of my faith which was so tightly held in my teens and also wrestling with the sense of call to ministry which I feel so strongly, even when it feels like I am so anti church.  Reading this book helped me to have words for my experience over the last few years and in an interview I did for radio recently, I found words to articulate the wrestle I’ve had. I don’t identify as a Christian, not because I don’t believe those things but because that label has been used to do a lot of damage. I am a person of faith. Faith in a God who loves unconditionally, faith in an institution that continues to seek new ways to love and express this good news. Faith in there being Hope, in the life and witness of Jesus and in the institution of the church and hop...

 It's been 200 days since restrictions came into place for the Covid19 Pandemic and i've been in various lockdown restrictions. I've been in a mood  for about a week now. I want to be really clear straight up, I think the restrictions are completely necessary and I am grateful that I have been kept safe and healthy from what is a very contagious virus and im thankful that by these restrictions i've been able to keep vulnerable people around me safe.  The thing is, i've just had enough. In Melbourne, things really suck and it's still a while until things are going to get better. We have done an amazing job going from 700 cases a day to 14 a day. But its been a long 6 months. And with new clusters and little outbreaks around the place, its still long from over.  Its been a long time of being alone, of not seeing friends or family, its been a long time of not being able to do things such as shopping or exercising the way you are used to. A long time of checking you...

I've found myself in many places within the Christian context recently that has asked the question, Why are you you still here (in church)? Why are you still a Christian? What made you stay connected to faith and church when many others your age left? Why are you still at church? This question has been answered in the context of ministry to young people, what makes people stay in church and how do those in ministry enable space for those to ask these questions and consider what it means for them to leave or stay? When I was first asked this question my answer was obligation. I stayed in church because I was leading in children's and youth ministry and didn't know how to get out of the commitment. I didn't want to let people down.  So I served, in any and all the ways I could to try and find faith in the leadership opportunities.  Eventually I think the answer became more than obligation. I stayed connected to the church because I was drawn to community and to a plac...

It seems that there comes a time when the question of identity is foundational in moving to the next step of adulthood.  I started this year really confident, sure of who I was and called; ready to face the next part of my life.  However what came next I wasn't ready for. I wasn't ready to be told my next adventure involved waiting and learning to articulate better. I didn't realise that this would throw me off completely, sending me into a quarter life crisis, leaving me asking questions of my identity in many different ways. I found myself nose-deep in books about theology and found myself for the first time actually researching and reading in an attempt to understand what I was thinking.  I have found myself stripping back my commitments in hope of finding where my passions beat most strongly.  I have left communities and friendship groups that made me feel like I needed to disguise who I truly thought I was called to be, in order to feel more free.  ...

Dear White Middle Class Christians, I hate you and I hate everything about you. I've spent the last 3 months really frustrated by you.  Maybe even angry at you.  I am annoyed by the God you supposedly believe in - its not the God I know, the God who cares for all people. The God who sent His Son to walk among the broken and the sinners. I feel like you just don't understand the privilege you actually sitting in. You talk about going out into the world and serving others, but you really just mean the people that are like you and people who would be willing and have the resources to contribute in your circles.  You talk about brokenness and hardship and reference war and poverty in Africa, you don't understand that in the streets around you there are people faced with the same everyday.  You talk about your own hardships as if something really awful has happened, but the reality of the situation is that you just had a bad day and need a nap because you are grumpy. ...

I often talk about calling and how I so strongly felt called to move to the country to do youth ministry. I talk about wanting to listen to what God has to say about the ministry I am passionate about.  But what happens if the logistics and realities of life seem to be getting in between my calling?  For the last couple of weeks I fasted, 21 days in a Daniel fast. Meals consisting of fruit and vegetable. A spiritual practice I hadn't tried before. I did this for a few reasons. I wanted to learn some disciple in my faith. I wanted to intentionally spend time trying to draw closer to God. I wanted to allow space in my life to hear from God, particularly on matters of importance around calling and the future. I also wanted to pray around the finances of our church as it was in a bad situation.  What did I learn and hear during my fast? Not a lot and quite a lot.  I learnt that while food is a love language and a place which welcomes hospitality; for me it ...

Earlier this year, a statement went viral, schools and teachers all over the world were asking their students to complete the sentence "I wish my Teacher knew...." Teachers were getting powerful responses about the lack of resources students had, how their parents weren't present and how their self esteem affected how they learned or contributed. There is so much I wish the students at school where I chaplain would tell me or their class teacher. I wish they would tell us if they haven't got food, that they didn't do their homework because their parents didn't know how to do it so couldn't assist them, that things are really hard from them at home with their responsibilities at home they are always worried. Personal life impacts how people learn and there are some students who battle so much internally and in their personal life just to attend each day of school. There was so much I wish I told my teachers when I was at school, that I was trying ...

I was asked to speak at a Church in Naracoorte in December about how i had been called and ended up in Naracoorte.  I also shared this similar story/message to the campers and leaders at CE Camp. Hello my name is Nicole Mugford, I’m 22 years old and I have grown up in the north eastern suburbs of Adelaide until moved to Naracoorte in February when I began working as the Youth pastor at the Uniting church and more recently in the second semester as Christian Pastoral Support Worker at Naracoorte Primary School. I'll tell you more about my roles later but first let me tell you a bit about my journey to getting here and how God has paved the way for me.  I don’t really have a testimony of a life of sin and turning from it, but I don’t have a story of faithfully growing up in a Christian home either.  My family have had a connection with church for a long time but not regular attenders.  After being invited to a kids club during primary school, my mum built conn...

One thing that totally blows my mind and overwhelms me is how much my life has changed in 6 months.  Now I don't mean that in a bad way, because some of the things I've done and achieved is awesome. But it really does shock me.  6 months ago I was living at home and leading in the youth group of the church I grew up in. I wasn't unhappy, I fact I loved it, I was exploring what God wanted me to do though. With my whole life for a long time. I like details, and I don't feel like I have very many in that category. But God has sent me on this awesome journey to the country and I really love it here. I love the community and the slower pace, I love that I feel safe walking around and generally being here and there is loo worry about doors not being locked and stuff.  I love the sporting community and atmosphere, I totally would have done sport growing up if it was like that in the city and you didn't have to pay a million bucks and be elite to get good sporting communi...

God called me and I answered, and that is while I'm here now. its been a crazy journey to get here. The beginning of the story starts here... In late December of 2012 i was first time leading of CE Camp and had an awesome group of 16 year olds.  On of these girls was from a country area.  She told me of the struggle it was to be a christian teenager in the country because she was the only one her age and the youth group was just an occasional dinner or something at the ministers house with her younger sister and a few others.  I left that conversation thinking that someone who was passionate about youth should really go out to the country and support them and care about them because that's what they were passionate about rather than that was a need to address.   About a week later (Jan 2013) i was at Beach mission and talking with the Minister of Naracoorte UC who was on the team. I was talking about the plans i had that year to serve in my church with ca...

In the April holidays i travelled by bus to the country, to visit some friends but also to explore what ministry looked like in the country particularly for young people.  As i sat on the bus for 5 hours i was getting really nervous, i knew God had called me to explore this but i didn't know how to explain this feeling and i didn't know what others would say about it.   I listened to a few podcasts as i sat alone on the bus and this podcasts were all about following God's plan for our life and stepping out in faith.  I didnt't know thats what it was about when i chose them so that was really reassuring.   I also had a bible verse that i had written on a piece of paper that i happened to find as i was packing, it said,  " You crown the year with Your goodness, And Your paths drip with abundance." It's the NKJV of Psalm 65:11 This verse helps me now as i look back on the trip i made, how scared i was and how i was following God's call to ex...

In the last 6 months 3 people i knew well for a period of my life have passed away.  Each and everyone of these lives were precious and its such a tragedy. On reflection of these lives which were lost so young i think about what our culture is saying and why this is happening. People being told who they are isn't good enough, people investing so much into individuals/success and losing it all when something falls apart and not knowing how to cope or people living life with the idea of #yolo (you only live once) .  Of course this is just a generalisation but i dont know what to do about this.  Its bothering me that people are losing their lives, and their loved ones for things that shouldnt happen. How can we change culture so that we don't lose our young people?  how can we raise a generation of young people to learn to value the realities of life and help them better face the challenges that come?  I dont think culture is just killing our young people ph...

The world is so over sexualised i would say its pretty much impossible for a young person to go through day without seeing an image of someone suggestively selling a product on billboards, in magazines or for people to be involved in or over heard a conversation on the bus, in the school/uni yard, on tv, on the radio etc which exposes them to ideas which they shouldnt be involved in.  It makes me sad that so many young people are settling for the first person they meet and think that its a normal and expected thing for them to sleep with their partner. I've had many conversations with young girls since ive started youth ministry about what they feel like they have to look like and do in relationships etc.  It breaks my heart so much to hear girls say that sex is something that they feel like they need to engage in and be open to if they ever want to be liked by guys and friends.  It makes me sad that people aren't being told why they shouldnt engage in many ...

I had everything sorted for 2013.  It was going to be great, a new job, awesome study opportunities, the list goes on. And March hit, and i didnt have any of it.  didnt get the job, my uni sbjects didnt quite work out the way i wanted them too and i was left feeling heaps alone.  What did i have? i felt like i had a whole lot of closed doors and i was begining to wonder if i was even walking down the right passageway.  As i reflected and talked with some wish people i began to realise that make my closed doors were much more than broken promised and crushed dreams,  maybe they were something i could learn from and something which would guide me.  I now see these closed doors as sign posts because at each opportunity that got closed, who i am and what im passionate about got refined became foundational in my life.  these sign posts are sending me on a new and exciting adventure and right now i dont completely know what it looks like or wi...

When i decided to write this i had no idea what i should title this post, I wanted to talk about taking control of my life, but ultimately i wanted God to be incontrol so it felt wrong to say that, i was going to write about 2013 being my year, but i already declared 2012 my year and having more than one year dedicated to yourself seems a bit vain.  I was going to talk about being the change in your own life, but I probably wouldnt have willingly made the changes in my life.  Things happen in life and sometimes there are awesome and other times they totally suck.  I've had a pretty amazing yet rough start to 2013. It started amazing with leading an awesome bunch of 16y/o's at CE Camp over new years - to talk faith, life and have so much fun was a great start to the year. Its such a privellage to be able to bring in the New Year worshipping God and leading youth, which im so passionate about doing.  Then from camp a had a few days at home before heading off to beach...