The Real Nicole.

When I was in Paris earlier this year, I had the opportunity to visit ‘ Atelier Des Lumières’ , the workshop of light. It was a warehouse with a digital art show, using light and projection on the reflection of mirrors, walls and water to create images. Displaying the works of Van Gogh; Starry Night as well as other displays titled Dreamed Japan, and Verse.   I am not normally one to be overwhelmed by art, I see it and appreciate the need for it but it doesn’t often speak to me.   However when I sat and watched this display for an hour in Paris I was moved to tears. The paintings of Van Gogh, flowers, irises, sunflowers, wheat fields, portraits of people, and starry night moved slowly across the walls bouncing off different features of the warehouse and I sat and cried. I had become immersed into the paintings, the colours speaking to my soul. The Japanese art began and I still found myself lost in the pictures. Cherry blossoms grew up the wall and then were blown with t...

In July this year I travelled to  Taizé  in France with a group of people (my friends) from South Australia.  Taizé   is a community in countryside France which is home to over 100 brothers who live communally in worship, service and life. Every week from all over the wold pilgrims travel to be part of the community, predominately this community of people who are welcomed are young adults. There is something special about living simply, in community and accepting the hospitality of these brothers in search for something deeper and meaningful. I wrote a collection of reflections on my trip for assessment in a guided study.  The trip was truly a life shaping trip for me.  This week has been a different experience. There have been moments of profoundness, in conversations, reflections, songs and silence. And there have also been many frustrating moments, times where I have wished I was more honest with myself, moments I wished was dif...

As a child I was often considered clumsy. I often drop things, I trip over, I constantly have bruises from bumping into doors, cupboards, etc. I'm not exactly a model of balance.  What I really need in my life right now though is balance.  Not so much the ability to not walk into door frames or stand up straight, although that would be helpful. But balance in all that I am doing and managing in life.   You see recently I over-committed and it wasn't until I was in the thick of it that I realised what a terrible mistake it was.  4 days work in something I absolutely live, but takes a lot of emotional energy, 3 subjects in a Bachelor of Ministry (75% load - full time equivalent), kids club, youth drop in and small group leading, community outreach/drop in at shops, youth ministry nights at my church. Its all a bit too much in a week.  But it gives me life - mostly. But socially it isolates me.  Living and doing ministry in Naracoorte was isola...

Last school holidays I had the pleasure and privilege of telling and facilitating space for some of God's Story to be experienced at NCOH Youth's camp in Walkers Flat on the Murray.  NCOH is the Northern Community of Hope - a church in Daveron Park with a real heart for the community around them, a church for some of the real broken people just coming as they are and experiencing God.  I was there as part of the Access the Story team - speaking out the meta-narrative of God, and to be honest I was pretty excited to have been asked to go because I felt validated by the Access the Story crew as a capable communicator, leader or maybe even just as a leader.  It was an amazing week, of ministry opportunities, of trying things a little out of my comfort zone, of watching and responding to the community and culture and of new friendships and perceptions. My friend and colleague Trav whom I accompanied on camp shared his reflections here . There was a few things I learnt abo...

This is my 5th year studying at Uniting College, I'm about $30000 in student loan debts, and only have successfully completed about half of a degree so far.  If that wasn't enough of an opening statement to prove that study just isn't my thing, I'll finish it off by saying that I've been doing distance education for the last 2.5 years which is extra tricky and have issues with self worth and most of the time feel stupid studying ministry when I don't know anything and especially since I don't know where my future lies.  I've found it frustrating hearing from people who used to study at college saying things like, I never got anything less than a distinction and I'd only been a Christian for a short time before studying. Or commenting on the subject selections or had made. This year, I have approached study differently to before. It's not because I've looked at the debt I have and realised I can't afford to fail - although that...

One thing that totally blows my mind and overwhelms me is how much my life has changed in 6 months.  Now I don't mean that in a bad way, because some of the things I've done and achieved is awesome. But it really does shock me.  6 months ago I was living at home and leading in the youth group of the church I grew up in. I wasn't unhappy, I fact I loved it, I was exploring what God wanted me to do though. With my whole life for a long time. I like details, and I don't feel like I have very many in that category. But God has sent me on this awesome journey to the country and I really love it here. I love the community and the slower pace, I love that I feel safe walking around and generally being here and there is loo worry about doors not being locked and stuff.  I love the sporting community and atmosphere, I totally would have done sport growing up if it was like that in the city and you didn't have to pay a million bucks and be elite to get good sporting communi...

So I've been in Naracoorte for 2 months already! It's been a pretty crazy 2 months. In the time I've lived in 2 houses, got another part time job, and been to the mechanics 3 times. But let me explain more about what I've been up too.  So on February 1st I packed my belongings in mums car and set off on my own for the 4 hour drive. When I arrived I had no idea what was gonna happen. It was pretty scary driving away from home because this was home, family, friends and familiar environments but I felt called and I was excited but probably more nervous at that point. 400kms later I arrived at Naracoorte at about 3pm and drove straight to the Ministers house- I didn't even know where I was going to live that night or long term.  Youth group was at 7pm that night. Nothing like being thrown straight into it! It was a welcome party night and was heaps of fun hanging out and meeting youth and leaders too. That night I got attacked with streamers, water guns, perman...

God called me and I answered, and that is while I'm here now. its been a crazy journey to get here. The beginning of the story starts here... In late December of 2012 i was first time leading of CE Camp and had an awesome group of 16 year olds.  On of these girls was from a country area.  She told me of the struggle it was to be a christian teenager in the country because she was the only one her age and the youth group was just an occasional dinner or something at the ministers house with her younger sister and a few others.  I left that conversation thinking that someone who was passionate about youth should really go out to the country and support them and care about them because that's what they were passionate about rather than that was a need to address.   About a week later (Jan 2013) i was at Beach mission and talking with the Minister of Naracoorte UC who was on the team. I was talking about the plans i had that year to serve in my church with ca...

It's been a long time since I've blogged. My life has experienced a lot of changes recently. Last year I really struggled with study and life, it got the better of me and I ended up spending a lot of time curled up in a ball crying. One thing I really learnt in that time was that I really did wanna trust God wholeheartedly and follow all He had planned for my life. I also realised that I had a wider support network and friends than I thought and that these people were prepared to stay with me no matter what I faced.  The biggest thing in my life probably ever was that I got a job as a youth pastor and moved out of home and 400kms away from where I had spent my whole life so far. I moved to the country.  The story isn't as easy as that though, God totally blew my mind with the way He revealed himself to me and its kinda been a crazy adventure. - I'll give you the whole story in my next post! Also over the summer i was involved in CE Camp as a leader as well as B...

I have this friend. She is great. One of my best friends I'd say. Probably my closest friend. Why? Well I meet her at the start of this year when she started attending at my church. Funny story actually when we first met we joked around quite a bit, I thought she was great. I was talking the the youth pastor about how awesome she was - he knew her from a previous church - he was like she's great, be her friend and get her to youth lead with you. Now my youth pastor was only joking when he told me to befriend her so she will be a youth leader. But that's exactly what happened not like that though. The first night we lead a small group together was awesome, I loved having someone who just seemed to so naturally bounce off what I had to say and finish my questions. We were Bert and Ernie the youth ministry world. We road tripped to Sydney for hillsong together and it was some of the best fun I've had. She encouraged me, laughed at and with me, danced with me, support...

As a youth leader, slum city was something I wanted my young people to get involved it, I thought it would be a great experience and something they could share with their non-Christian mates. I didn't expect to be so challenged for me personally and to come away with an experience that has profoundly changed and shaped my thinking. Slum City is a 24 hour simulation that occurred in Civic Park over the 40 Hour Famine weekend (17-18 th August). Participants gathered from local churches and the age range varied from year 9's to the Mayor of Tea Tree Gully Miriam Smith.  About 30 people were a part of the slum and Ross, Dan, Bradley, Josiah, Georgia and myself represented Hope Valley.  During the 24 hour period our phones were taken away from us, we were fed a basis meal of rice for dinner and a piece of bread at breakfast, and there was nothing like sports equipment, access to the playground or playing cards to keep ourselves occupied and we had to participate in a range of...

In the April holidays i travelled by bus to the country, to visit some friends but also to explore what ministry looked like in the country particularly for young people.  As i sat on the bus for 5 hours i was getting really nervous, i knew God had called me to explore this but i didn't know how to explain this feeling and i didn't know what others would say about it.   I listened to a few podcasts as i sat alone on the bus and this podcasts were all about following God's plan for our life and stepping out in faith.  I didnt't know thats what it was about when i chose them so that was really reassuring.   I also had a bible verse that i had written on a piece of paper that i happened to find as i was packing, it said,  " You crown the year with Your goodness, And Your paths drip with abundance." It's the NKJV of Psalm 65:11 This verse helps me now as i look back on the trip i made, how scared i was and how i was following God's call to ex...

I had everything sorted for 2013.  It was going to be great, a new job, awesome study opportunities, the list goes on. And March hit, and i didnt have any of it.  didnt get the job, my uni sbjects didnt quite work out the way i wanted them too and i was left feeling heaps alone.  What did i have? i felt like i had a whole lot of closed doors and i was begining to wonder if i was even walking down the right passageway.  As i reflected and talked with some wish people i began to realise that make my closed doors were much more than broken promised and crushed dreams,  maybe they were something i could learn from and something which would guide me.  I now see these closed doors as sign posts because at each opportunity that got closed, who i am and what im passionate about got refined became foundational in my life.  these sign posts are sending me on a new and exciting adventure and right now i dont completely know what it looks like or wi...