The Real Nicole.

For some of you who know me really well, you might be thinking, Nicole has always had a voice. But I want to tell you, this weekend I found my voice. It wasn't really lost, but it wasn't confident. It was hidden behind the fear of being judged or boxed a certain way. This weekend just gone we had the Presbytery and Synod meeting for the SA Uniting Church.  This is the business and governance (or AGM) meeting for the whole church.   I have been a member for a number of years at this meeting, but haven't really spoken on matters at the microphone.  This weekend, I went to the mic, not just once, but 4 or 5 times. Now, you might just say, well yeah, that's the process, you were just doing due diligence to the role and reason you were at the meeting.  You are right but let me explain a little more about why it was important for me to find my voice. During the first day of the meeting, in smaller working groups, I cautiously and nervously shared my thoughts....

There is a lot going on in the world at the moment.  It seems messy, confusing, chaotic and hurtful.  Asylum seekers without a home, starving and dying in waiting. The outcome of a survey being fought over. Climate change affecting people's homes.  Terrorism and gun violence a daily occurrence.  Young people seeking someone to notice them, young people seeking someone to care, young people crying out. Mental health issues increasing, sexual assault and violence, domestic violence.  War. Poverty. Pain. Hurting. Where is the Love?  We hear the cries but are we actually listening? Do we actually hear the cries of the people around us? Do we hear the cries of the world? Do we hear the cries of the voiceless? Do we hear creations cries? Are we listening to the prophetic voices in our world? As I was driving to youth drop in this afternoon from school, the song 'Where is the Love?' by Black Eyed Peas came on the radio.  As I listened to the ...

As a child I was often considered clumsy. I often drop things, I trip over, I constantly have bruises from bumping into doors, cupboards, etc. I'm not exactly a model of balance.  What I really need in my life right now though is balance.  Not so much the ability to not walk into door frames or stand up straight, although that would be helpful. But balance in all that I am doing and managing in life.   You see recently I over-committed and it wasn't until I was in the thick of it that I realised what a terrible mistake it was.  4 days work in something I absolutely live, but takes a lot of emotional energy, 3 subjects in a Bachelor of Ministry (75% load - full time equivalent), kids club, youth drop in and small group leading, community outreach/drop in at shops, youth ministry nights at my church. Its all a bit too much in a week.  But it gives me life - mostly. But socially it isolates me.  Living and doing ministry in Naracoorte was isola...

Dear White Middle Class Christians, I hate you and I hate everything about you. I've spent the last 3 months really frustrated by you.  Maybe even angry at you.  I am annoyed by the God you supposedly believe in - its not the God I know, the God who cares for all people. The God who sent His Son to walk among the broken and the sinners. I feel like you just don't understand the privilege you actually sitting in. You talk about going out into the world and serving others, but you really just mean the people that are like you and people who would be willing and have the resources to contribute in your circles.  You talk about brokenness and hardship and reference war and poverty in Africa, you don't understand that in the streets around you there are people faced with the same everyday.  You talk about your own hardships as if something really awful has happened, but the reality of the situation is that you just had a bad day and need a nap because you are grumpy. ...

...In an attempt to develop further as a christian leader, I am posting sermons I have prepared for my studies or for ministry opportunities. Please feel free to comment to add helpful hints so I can develop. .... A call to Maturity Hebrews 5:11-6:12 Naracoorte UC - September Series 2016 This passage in Hebrews is one passage that is used to explain about spiritual maturity.  The writer of Hebrews uses an example of physical maturity as a way to explain what spiritual maturity is.  Some signs of growing up or adulting as I call it is that you become independent from those who raise you, you as responsible for getting your own food, paying your own bills and making sure you clean up after yourself.  I used to go food shopping with mum every week when I lived at home and I used to find it really enjoyable, when I moved here and into my own place the first few times I went shopping was such a novelty, I walked the isles hoping that people were noticing how good ...

  ...In an attempt to develop further as a christian leader, I am posting sermons I have prepared for my studies or for ministry opportunities. Please feel free to comment to add helpful hints so I can develop. .... A condition-less compassion Genesis 25:18-34 Do you have an older sibling? Are you a younger sibling who wished they get the rights and responsibility of the eldest? Or are you the oldest sibling? DO you understand the value of your position in the birth order? Was there things you got or rules made which benefitted you over your siblings? In my family I am a middle child.  The second girl . before the arrival of the golden child – a boy.  In my extended step family of 5 now adult children. I’m still a middle child.  I‘ve tried every middle child complaint in the book and the middle child realities has been well lived out in my life. I was the only one to receive all the hand me downs.  I was the only one to have to wait until I was 13...

...In an attempt to develop further as a christian leader, I am posting sermons I have prepared for my studies or for ministry opportunities. Please feel free to comment to add helpful hints so I can develop. .... Just a cup of cold water Matthew 10:40-42 40  “Anyone who welcomes you welcomes me,   and anyone who welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me.   41  Whoever welcomes a prophet as a prophet will receive a prophet’s reward, and whoever welcomes a righteous person as a righteous person will receive a righteous person’s reward.   42  And if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones who is my disciple, truly I tell you, that person will certainly not lose their reward.” When I first joined the small group at my new church, the host would offer drinks on arrival and I would always turn it down.  There was something about not being heaps comfortable because I was new and just didn’t want to be a hassle by as...

    ...In an attempt to develop further as a christian leader, I am posting sermons I have prepared for my studies or for ministry opportunities. Please feel free to comment to add helpful hints so I can develop. .... The Great Anguish Romans 9:1-5 Have you ever said or done something extreme or over the top for someone you love?  Ever made the statement “I’d do anything” maybe to see something change or to express something important.  In finding Nemo Marlin does just that for Nemo.  Marlin would rather be in the safety of his home but his love and desire to not lose his son drives him to explore the big ocean and do some pretty extreme things to save his son and bring him back home safely. I think Paul is expressing the same passion as Marlin the clown fish in this passage.  He would do anything, even being cut off and cursed if it meant that his people the Jewish people understood Christ.  You see the Jewish people – the...

Last school holidays I had the pleasure and privilege of telling and facilitating space for some of God's Story to be experienced at NCOH Youth's camp in Walkers Flat on the Murray.  NCOH is the Northern Community of Hope - a church in Daveron Park with a real heart for the community around them, a church for some of the real broken people just coming as they are and experiencing God.  I was there as part of the Access the Story team - speaking out the meta-narrative of God, and to be honest I was pretty excited to have been asked to go because I felt validated by the Access the Story crew as a capable communicator, leader or maybe even just as a leader.  It was an amazing week, of ministry opportunities, of trying things a little out of my comfort zone, of watching and responding to the community and culture and of new friendships and perceptions. My friend and colleague Trav whom I accompanied on camp shared his reflections here . There was a few things I learnt abo...

As a young child in primary school I decided I wanted a job where I could be a Christian and help people.  At 11 or 12 years old I didn’t know what that looked like.  I wanted to be a youth leader and go to local schools and connect with the students that no one liked to hang out with.  I was a child who would befriend the outcast.  I found these people so interesting.  They had stories of terrible situations, but they also thought a lot.  I loved offering advice to them and sharing my love with these friends.  By the time I was in high school I knew I was going to dedicate my life to connecting people and drawing the lonely and fringe people together.  I started a prayer group in my high school and spent a lot of time campaigning for a chaplain to be in the school because I knew chaplains were the connections to the church in a secular community. I started a social work degree after school, but during the first year I felt unsettled and ...

It started when I was road tripping with some friends and we were talking all things life, faith and future related.  I had read in my uni reading that week about vocation and was internally wrestling with my sense of call towards ministry.  The conversation was a good one, it was honest vulnerable and real, we talked about spiritual gifts and leadership, we talked about having a heart for God and a head knowledge. I shared about how I was struggling.  Struggling to make my faith personal, and deep. Struggling to focus on God and how I was often distracted by ministry and other peoples trials.  I shared that my desire was to fall more in love with God.  To be passionate and emotional about the faith I have.  I shared about how I compared who I was to others around me and how much that detracted from what I felt and knew myself.  My road trip friends encouraged me in my faith, challenging me to focus on my personal spiritual disciplines and focusing on ...

I can't do it. I am useless. I am not worth the effort. I'm just not skilled. I'd be better off being someones assistant. I'm not a real coordinator. I'm not a real pastor. I'm not qualified to deal with that. I'm a hypocrite. I'm just not worth your time. I don't deserve it.  Statements like these run through my head constantly.  They stem from statements people have said to me over my lifetime. And they come as a result of what I feel as I approach different situations. But mostly they are just self deprecating and annoying and destroying the ability to function without doubting myself. They scream the loudest when I study or prepare something which would showcase my skills and ability to lead or showcase my opinion. The dumbest thing about these statements is that I know they aren't true.  And it's statements like this I daily try to help young people reverse in their thinking.  Yet I find myself time and time again stopping and list...

I want to start by saying, if anything I say is triggering to you. Please stop reading and seek help. Mental health is a massive jerk.  There isn't really many other ways to put it. Mental health ruins lives, families, and communities. We have a problem in Australia. You see, too many people are dying from suicide every year. Heck too many people are dying each day due to suicide. Where is God? What is the hope for the future? And why the heck aren't more people training and trying to understand mental health situations. Now don't get me wrong, we have done a fair bit over the last few years to reduce the stigma of mental health, but we still have so far to go. The past 4 years of my life have been a massive eye opening experience to me about the mental health of my peers, friends, and people I meet even in day to days interactions. I have spent countless hours texting young people in crisis and ensurin they have someone safe to listen to them. I have spent too ...