The day I found my voice
For some of you who know me really well, you might be thinking, Nicole has always had a voice. But I want to tell you, this weekend I found my voice. It wasn't really lost, but it wasn't confident. It was hidden behind the fear of being judged or boxed a certain way.
This weekend just gone we had the Presbytery and Synod meeting for the SA Uniting Church. This is the business and governance (or AGM) meeting for the whole church. I have been a member for a number of years at this meeting, but haven't really spoken on matters at the microphone. This weekend, I went to the mic, not just once, but 4 or 5 times.
Now, you might just say, well yeah, that's the process, you were just doing due diligence to the role and reason you were at the meeting. You are right but let me explain a little more about why it was important for me to find my voice.
During the first day of the meeting, in smaller working groups, I cautiously and nervously shared my thoughts. Under the breath of people in the room comments were made about women in leadership and how it dis-empowers real authority in men. I was horrified. My contribution to the conversation was around that as a young person, I wasn't around when some of the decisions of the church were being made, so it would be really helpful to have these documented in an up to date fact like sheet so people could get a history if they were unfamiliar. When I was leaving the group at the end of the session, someone came up to me and said that I was really too young to understand the whole story and it would be better if I didn't speak into matters until I was older and more informed of the whole story. Again I was outraged.
My gender and my age, are not barriers in my ability to connect with the experience, tradition, reason and scripture which informs my faith. My voice matters just as much as anyone else in the room. I'm so sick of being sidelined, or sidelining myself because of my gender or age. I'm so sick of proving myself valid with the experiences I have had, in order to be allowed into spaces. I'm sick of worrying that I will be judged or perceived in a certain way if I speak into certain issues. I'm sick of feeling the need to test my opinion or my questions with friends or wiser adults before I engage.
So I choose to speak out. I choose to make my voice heard. I choose to stand up and be counted.
I am an independent young woman and I am a leader. I am passionate about the rights of people and mental health. I ask good questions and make strong connections with a lot of people. I respond calmly to crisis and can connect dots.
This weekend I found my voice. I found it because I was fed up with being told I wasn't good enough, ready enough or right enough. I found my voice with the support and encouragement of other women in leadership, who could see in me the gifts and skills that were being squished. I was thankful that when I approached the mic, I could see Deacons, Minister and lecturers - people I consider friends, smiling and giving me encouragement. They gave me pats on the back, hugs and thanked me for my contributions throughout the weekend. I found my voice to remind and encourage others to use their voice as well.
Until young woman in our society are engaging equally without the fear of judgement or sexist, and rude comments, we still have a problem in this world. We haven't dealt with this issue yet, no where close. But some have taken steps to acknowledging the problem exists.
This weekend just gone we had the Presbytery and Synod meeting for the SA Uniting Church. This is the business and governance (or AGM) meeting for the whole church. I have been a member for a number of years at this meeting, but haven't really spoken on matters at the microphone. This weekend, I went to the mic, not just once, but 4 or 5 times.
Now, you might just say, well yeah, that's the process, you were just doing due diligence to the role and reason you were at the meeting. You are right but let me explain a little more about why it was important for me to find my voice.
During the first day of the meeting, in smaller working groups, I cautiously and nervously shared my thoughts. Under the breath of people in the room comments were made about women in leadership and how it dis-empowers real authority in men. I was horrified. My contribution to the conversation was around that as a young person, I wasn't around when some of the decisions of the church were being made, so it would be really helpful to have these documented in an up to date fact like sheet so people could get a history if they were unfamiliar. When I was leaving the group at the end of the session, someone came up to me and said that I was really too young to understand the whole story and it would be better if I didn't speak into matters until I was older and more informed of the whole story. Again I was outraged.
My gender and my age, are not barriers in my ability to connect with the experience, tradition, reason and scripture which informs my faith. My voice matters just as much as anyone else in the room. I'm so sick of being sidelined, or sidelining myself because of my gender or age. I'm so sick of proving myself valid with the experiences I have had, in order to be allowed into spaces. I'm sick of worrying that I will be judged or perceived in a certain way if I speak into certain issues. I'm sick of feeling the need to test my opinion or my questions with friends or wiser adults before I engage.
So I choose to speak out. I choose to make my voice heard. I choose to stand up and be counted.
I am an independent young woman and I am a leader. I am passionate about the rights of people and mental health. I ask good questions and make strong connections with a lot of people. I respond calmly to crisis and can connect dots.
This weekend I found my voice. I found it because I was fed up with being told I wasn't good enough, ready enough or right enough. I found my voice with the support and encouragement of other women in leadership, who could see in me the gifts and skills that were being squished. I was thankful that when I approached the mic, I could see Deacons, Minister and lecturers - people I consider friends, smiling and giving me encouragement. They gave me pats on the back, hugs and thanked me for my contributions throughout the weekend. I found my voice to remind and encourage others to use their voice as well.
Until young woman in our society are engaging equally without the fear of judgement or sexist, and rude comments, we still have a problem in this world. We haven't dealt with this issue yet, no where close. But some have taken steps to acknowledging the problem exists.
Thank you Nicole. Your contributions are on-topic and valued by many of us. Keep making them.
ReplyDeleteWell said Nicole! Have courage, keep going, keep using your emancipated voice, the SA Synod is sorely in need of this...
ReplyDeleteHaven't met you Nicole but we'll done. Those reasons you were told to not do this or that are not good reasons so well done.
ReplyDeleteYou remind us that ageism is not only about discrimination and prejudice against seniors. It can be applied with equal harm against young adults and adolescents. Thank you for having the courage to speak up and to confront prejudice.
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