The Real Nicole.

It seems that there comes a time when the question of identity is foundational in moving to the next step of adulthood.  I started this year really confident, sure of who I was and called; ready to face the next part of my life.  However what came next I wasn't ready for. I wasn't ready to be told my next adventure involved waiting and learning to articulate better. I didn't realise that this would throw me off completely, sending me into a quarter life crisis, leaving me asking questions of my identity in many different ways. I found myself nose-deep in books about theology and found myself for the first time actually researching and reading in an attempt to understand what I was thinking.  I have found myself stripping back my commitments in hope of finding where my passions beat most strongly.  I have left communities and friendship groups that made me feel like I needed to disguise who I truly thought I was called to be, in order to feel more free.  ...

For some of you who know me really well, you might be thinking, Nicole has always had a voice. But I want to tell you, this weekend I found my voice. It wasn't really lost, but it wasn't confident. It was hidden behind the fear of being judged or boxed a certain way. This weekend just gone we had the Presbytery and Synod meeting for the SA Uniting Church.  This is the business and governance (or AGM) meeting for the whole church.   I have been a member for a number of years at this meeting, but haven't really spoken on matters at the microphone.  This weekend, I went to the mic, not just once, but 4 or 5 times. Now, you might just say, well yeah, that's the process, you were just doing due diligence to the role and reason you were at the meeting.  You are right but let me explain a little more about why it was important for me to find my voice. During the first day of the meeting, in smaller working groups, I cautiously and nervously shared my thoughts....

There is a lot going on in the world at the moment.  It seems messy, confusing, chaotic and hurtful.  Asylum seekers without a home, starving and dying in waiting. The outcome of a survey being fought over. Climate change affecting people's homes.  Terrorism and gun violence a daily occurrence.  Young people seeking someone to notice them, young people seeking someone to care, young people crying out. Mental health issues increasing, sexual assault and violence, domestic violence.  War. Poverty. Pain. Hurting. Where is the Love?  We hear the cries but are we actually listening? Do we actually hear the cries of the people around us? Do we hear the cries of the world? Do we hear the cries of the voiceless? Do we hear creations cries? Are we listening to the prophetic voices in our world? As I was driving to youth drop in this afternoon from school, the song 'Where is the Love?' by Black Eyed Peas came on the radio.  As I listened to the ...

As a child I was often considered clumsy. I often drop things, I trip over, I constantly have bruises from bumping into doors, cupboards, etc. I'm not exactly a model of balance.  What I really need in my life right now though is balance.  Not so much the ability to not walk into door frames or stand up straight, although that would be helpful. But balance in all that I am doing and managing in life.   You see recently I over-committed and it wasn't until I was in the thick of it that I realised what a terrible mistake it was.  4 days work in something I absolutely live, but takes a lot of emotional energy, 3 subjects in a Bachelor of Ministry (75% load - full time equivalent), kids club, youth drop in and small group leading, community outreach/drop in at shops, youth ministry nights at my church. Its all a bit too much in a week.  But it gives me life - mostly. But socially it isolates me.  Living and doing ministry in Naracoorte was isola...

Dear White Middle Class Christians, I hate you and I hate everything about you. I've spent the last 3 months really frustrated by you.  Maybe even angry at you.  I am annoyed by the God you supposedly believe in - its not the God I know, the God who cares for all people. The God who sent His Son to walk among the broken and the sinners. I feel like you just don't understand the privilege you actually sitting in. You talk about going out into the world and serving others, but you really just mean the people that are like you and people who would be willing and have the resources to contribute in your circles.  You talk about brokenness and hardship and reference war and poverty in Africa, you don't understand that in the streets around you there are people faced with the same everyday.  You talk about your own hardships as if something really awful has happened, but the reality of the situation is that you just had a bad day and need a nap because you are grumpy. ...

...In an attempt to develop further as a christian leader, I am posting sermons I have prepared for my studies or for ministry opportunities. Please feel free to comment to add helpful hints so I can develop. .... A call to Maturity Hebrews 5:11-6:12 Naracoorte UC - September Series 2016 This passage in Hebrews is one passage that is used to explain about spiritual maturity.  The writer of Hebrews uses an example of physical maturity as a way to explain what spiritual maturity is.  Some signs of growing up or adulting as I call it is that you become independent from those who raise you, you as responsible for getting your own food, paying your own bills and making sure you clean up after yourself.  I used to go food shopping with mum every week when I lived at home and I used to find it really enjoyable, when I moved here and into my own place the first few times I went shopping was such a novelty, I walked the isles hoping that people were noticing how good ...

  ...In an attempt to develop further as a christian leader, I am posting sermons I have prepared for my studies or for ministry opportunities. Please feel free to comment to add helpful hints so I can develop. .... A condition-less compassion Genesis 25:18-34 Do you have an older sibling? Are you a younger sibling who wished they get the rights and responsibility of the eldest? Or are you the oldest sibling? DO you understand the value of your position in the birth order? Was there things you got or rules made which benefitted you over your siblings? In my family I am a middle child.  The second girl . before the arrival of the golden child – a boy.  In my extended step family of 5 now adult children. I’m still a middle child.  I‘ve tried every middle child complaint in the book and the middle child realities has been well lived out in my life. I was the only one to receive all the hand me downs.  I was the only one to have to wait until I was 13...