The Real Nicole.

You make beautiful things You make beautiful things out of the dust You make beautiful things You make beautiful things out of us I was reminded of this song when i was struggling, struggling to see good out of my situation, struggling to see myself in the same way God sees me and struggling to see how God could use me and my situation for good. these lines just went through my head on repeat and i began to again see the beauty in things all around me. Beauty in others, in the environment, in Art, in music, Even beauty in the hard times. I was reminded of Gods great love and how indeed the things in life, in our world which we take for granted are beautiful things which God created. This song played on repeat in my head as i road tripped to Canberra with friends. As we drove through the plains and the hills and through the country i was blessed with such beauty. Even the dust storm had a certain beauty to it :) God makes Beautiful things!!!

In the bible it talks about Honouring your parents, I desire for a life which honours my parents but also a life which follows the calling God has on my life.. The problem comes when the calling on my life from God is something which my parents don't like. Something which won't please my parents because it's not something they class as a legitimate life decision. I have recently made a few changes in my life (Which i can't reveal just yet as you will understand the reasons why soon) and need to tell my Parents these new plans. I have struggled to see the positive result of letting them know where i was going and what i was doing. I was chatting to my mentor about it and how i wanted to make my parents proud and was worried what i was doing was dishonouring them. I didnt know how to approach the situation. She asked me what i thought it meant to honour my parents. I thought about it and what i thought was not honouring them as such but more doing what they wanted. Ni...

As you probably have been able to work out and read, recently ive felt a real sense of unease toward where my life was going. I felt that God had put a real passion on my heart for Youth and Youth ministry within my church but i was uncertain for what that meant for my current study and was unsure what it meant if i was to change. What would i do? Was where i thought i was going the right direction for me? Is it something God wants me to do? What would I do if it didn't work out? I found myslef tossing and turning at night struggling over my doubt. I picked up a book i was given at my baptism by a lovely friend called His Princess - Love letters from your King By Sherri Rose Shepherd. this is what i read... "wait on me, my Princess. My timing is always perfect. I know you're anxious about many things, and i see your passion for all the plans i have put in your heart. I know that you long to fly, and i see your enthusiasm. However, just as a vinedresser nutures the vine a...

So some of my friends have previously come to me wanting support because they have depression and cant seem to shake their mood. I've always tried to be there for them but ive always struggled to understand depression and other such mental health issues even though ive always wanted to understand so i could support. I couldnt see why people didnt stop reflecting on the negative and started looking to the stuff that was going right in thier life. i just didnt get it no matter how hard i tried. Luckly my friends have mostly gone through that stage of their life now and are recovering and moving on from the things which were holding them down. right now i have that feeling i cant throw. its an awful place to be in. I see the wider picture and have responsibility and feel the need to have what i do sorted out to be able to effectivelt lead and be a role model. but to be honest im hurting. i feel empty, cloudy and alone. i want to cry but i want to look tough. it sucks. i dont know ...

Sometimes things just suck, sometimes life hurts and sometimes things just get too much. If im really honest that reflects whats going on my my head a lot recently. On the outside i seem to have it under control, i look happy i seem to be going places. but inside im screaming out for help, i feel empty, alone, lonely, bored and disinterested. Everything seems too hard..but its too nice a weather to cry. I was emailing my young adults pastor and said this to him, and replied just be real about it with God. I was like what?! wow! thats kinda cool. God cares about our real issues and how we feel about stuff. i've spent so long getting to a place in my life where i can be real with my emotions to myslef but also to a few select others but i hadnt really thought about getting real about it with God. my prayer for my life is for real, raw and honest chats with God. For the decication , faith and belief in handing over my stuff to him. my prayer is for it to be the first place i turn.

So as i said in an earlier post, my young adults pastor was talking about his top five bible verses nad since that conversation ive been challenged to think about five verses which mean something to me and why they mean something and what they are teaching me. I have decided on my top five currently. they are not in any particular order but this is what i have Colossians 3:23 (NIV) 23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters I really like this verse and even though it is one of the cliche verses i wrote about i feel like you can't not like it. I love the reminder and encouragement to work at things for God rather then trying to please others. I recently were challenged that this didnt just mean physical things i was doing such as work/Uni but also working at forgiveness/compassion/removing evil desires from my life etc. 1 Corinthians 15:33 (NIV) 33 Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.” Just one sentance bu...

Jesus had a close circle of friends which he shared his life with. Then he had a larger group of 12 which he taught and continued to share life with to a lesser level. Again he had a bigger group of friends/accuantinces which he shared with and spend some time with. Its quite obvious i dont know all the theological story behind it but for a few years since i first read more about Jesus and his life ive craved to have friendships like Jesus did. This year i have made the most incredible bunch of friends. These girls and a few guys have put the foundation of our friendship in Jesus and its been a blessing to frequently go with them to God with troubles and concerns. As the year draws to an end and we find ourselves in cotcact less due to distance between each other i feel blessed knowing that they will be praying for me just as i am praying for them this summer. I get super emotional thinking about next year and what it has in store for us all with a few of us going in different dire...