The Real Nicole.

last year, was not my year. The study I was doing I was not achieving in, I felt distant and lonely and I struggled to see myself as worthy and didn’t know who I was. I declared that 2012 would be the year of Nicole, a year where I achieved in study, a year where things worked for me and a year where I found myself deeply rooted in solid ministry, friendships and the love of Christ. So one of my questions of reflection has been how is the year of Nicole been working out for me? This year started off with a bang, i got my internship at my church working with youth and started studying at the Uniting College of Leadership and Theology doing a Bachelor of Ministry. I made some amazing friends at college and i actually am doing well in my study. I got my P Plate license which means i got more independence and freedom. So far the year of Nicole has been great, ive had so really tough times with study and some tough times in my internship and tough times as i question my developing ...

Today i took a few of my youth kids to a youth conference. it was a great conference and totally awesome to see people of so many different ages, worshipping and serving wholeheartedly. In the talks the speaker talked about having a vision for 2020 and looking toward that goal now, and working at that now. All the young people in that room will have finished high school by 2020, and be adults of at least 20y/o which is about how old i am, which was weird as i sat there thinking about that. i thought about where i wanted to be in 2020 - thats 8 years away making me 28 years old! There is so many things i hope i have achieved by then, but i am so confused and challeneged by what God wants me to have done and be doing by then. i always imagined i would be married   - with a child or two by the time i was 28 i WILL be finished studying ! I think i want to be a youth pastor   I think i want to do ministry   i want to have travelled overseas before im 28 ...

This week has been a funny week for me in terms of head space, i was struggling with something and i didnt know who to turn to and felt quite lonely because i felt like i didnt have any female friends to chit chat about the silly things with (looking back, i realise how silly that thought was then). I decided to first turn to God, i told Him of how lonely i felt and that i was struggling with something but wasnt ready to tell Him about it yet, but that i needed a good quality friend to cross my path at the right time to talk this over and remind me that i needed to give it over to Him. The next day this situation was on my mind all day and i just repeated, God give me someone to share my struggle with. Evening arrived and i still had stuff on my mind, i had logged on to Facebook but wasnt doing anything on it, aimlessly scrolling while watching TV, my laptop was sitting next to me for a while and i noticed one of my best friends who i had'nt spoken to in a few weeks had started ...

At church on Sunday night the sermon was titled Beyond Doubt, it was looking at John 20:24-29. It was such a powerful message and something i was challenged with enough to bring me to tears. This passage talks about one of the disciples, Thomas who wasnt with the others when they saw the risen Lord. He struggled to believe that it was true because he hadnt seen it. For more then a week he told his friends the disciples of his struggles and wrestled with his doubt. But He never gave up on Jesus even through his doubt. i think my head went on a little side track, but when thinking about the doubt Thomas had and the fact that he still tried to find out more about Jesus and kinda continue his faith through it. It challenged me as i thought of the doubt i had, not in God necessarily but in myself and that i often give up on it and that Thomas didnt let his doubt rule him so why do i. Also because Thomas was honest about where he was his heart was open to accept later. Ive been struggl...

Over easter every year our church runs a youth camp at one of the most beautiful places in Australia, Ankara Campsite in Walker Flat on the River Murray. This year i lead and did a bunch of organising for the camp. I really enjoy organising camps and big events, i feel like its something im good at, thinking of a whole lot of things which people often think of, this might be because i love camps, ive been on so many like seriously, in 2011 i went on over 15 camps. One feeling that is always thought during camp is that at teh end of camp people dont want to go home, they like the sense of community and the way in which they can get into habit of worship, prayerand be with an awesome group of people. Last night the Easter Camp gathered for dinner as a thanks and reflection of what happened on camp, again i was reminded about this sense that people wished they were back at camp. I too reflected on how great camp was and how much i loved being there but i also reflected on the fa...

At life group we got talking about if we hear a whisper from God that we should follow but get scared and does that happen often and what would happen if we followed those sometimes strange whispers what would our world look like. it got me thinking about what the world would look like if we as christians made more of an intentional act to declare our faith. if we as we greeted each other asked how God was present in our lives since we last saw each other. if we as christians talked more about what we had read in the bible, rather then the reality tv shows we enjoy, the boybands we hate and how expensive petrol is. ive been challenged to ask those harder questions about faith rather than just sit with surface level chatter. I want to make God more present in our world through the talk of what is is doing which we over look or dont mention. i want to make God famous! My prayer is that this will become more of a culture in my community and around the world. please join with me in thi...

1 Timothy 3:1-12 talks about the qualifications for overseers and Deacons - i hadnt read this passage until this year when it was a passage that our youth pastor gave to our youth leadership team as a reminder of how to live our life and as leaders what we should do. 1 Here is a trustworthy saying: Whoever aspires to be an overseer desires a noble task. 2 Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, 3 not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. 4 He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full[a] respect. 5 (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?) 6 He must not be a recent convert, or he may become conceited and fall under the same judgment as the devil. 7 He must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into ...