From the bottom of my soul...
I'm not perfect, i stuff up, i get tired and i get angry. Everyone carries stuff and takes turns and bad times in life. its the way life works. that doesnt mean you just have to push through the tough times and keep fighting. im not suggesting giving up i saying you need time to spend on your own resting.
this year for me has gone so fast. i only have 16 weeks till the end of the school year, and with that short time comes so much pressure. pressure to increase my grades from this term, pressure to enjoy my time at school as its the last chance i have and pressure to get my life sorted out for the future. this year is crazy.
if im completey honest with you i will tell you, i dont know everything, and right now i cant deal with anything. this yeasr has brought so many tears so many tantrums and some very loyal friends and leaders who were willing to tell me how it was and not be afraid for me to yell at them, hate them, not talk to them and eventually say sorry when i realised how stupid i was being.
ive got to a point in my life where i actually need a break...i need to get away from everything and just spend time on my own. i could actually spend weeks in bed. there are many days when everything is too hard to do, talking to ppl on the phone and most of the homework i attempt is to hard. many of you may thin ka few things, tyou may think whats this kid talking about she has school holidays and free lessons she has it easy she wont cope wit hworking life etc or that all this is is an excuse for giving up but its neither.
the amount of homework i have to achieve in the holidays is stupid...im not actually sure i will be about to finish it all but i hope to get motivation and actually achieve.
i mean i really would like to give up but i know that isnt an option. i know where im going in my life i just need to get there and thats what im strggling with atm. there is so much going on in my life with family, friends, school and even just personally. and i just waqnt time alone with my god to be renewed and have a soul revival.
the lead pastor at my church was talking at church on sunday about how earlier in the yeasr we took time off to rest and have a soul revival... he was really honest and real with us and that made me appreciate what he had to sa more as he was vanurable. WHat he said got me thinking about how God wants us to have a sabbasth day each week. i then think aobut my schedule and how my week is filled and how little time i just have to rest in it.
It got me thinking about how everyone can push me as hard as they want and tell me to do this and suggest this but unless i actually have the motivation to do it i wont do it...i need to start fresh with my thinking about my achievement at school...
My plan at the start of the year was positive thinknig and positive comments...now...they are good but not always practical...bad day does not always equal faking a smile and saying things are okay...you cant always be happy and positive coz somedays things just suck...SO
new plan...
Be honest with how im feeling sbout things...especially school related things...ask for help...not just with school work but with life and things that bother me.
ALSO.... start fresh with my achievement...doesnt matter what hapened last term...this term i will do good...i will get a C in history and all other subjects will be high B's or low A's!!!!
please pray for me and that i can do it!
this year for me has gone so fast. i only have 16 weeks till the end of the school year, and with that short time comes so much pressure. pressure to increase my grades from this term, pressure to enjoy my time at school as its the last chance i have and pressure to get my life sorted out for the future. this year is crazy.
if im completey honest with you i will tell you, i dont know everything, and right now i cant deal with anything. this yeasr has brought so many tears so many tantrums and some very loyal friends and leaders who were willing to tell me how it was and not be afraid for me to yell at them, hate them, not talk to them and eventually say sorry when i realised how stupid i was being.
ive got to a point in my life where i actually need a break...i need to get away from everything and just spend time on my own. i could actually spend weeks in bed. there are many days when everything is too hard to do, talking to ppl on the phone and most of the homework i attempt is to hard. many of you may thin ka few things, tyou may think whats this kid talking about she has school holidays and free lessons she has it easy she wont cope wit hworking life etc or that all this is is an excuse for giving up but its neither.
the amount of homework i have to achieve in the holidays is stupid...im not actually sure i will be about to finish it all but i hope to get motivation and actually achieve.
i mean i really would like to give up but i know that isnt an option. i know where im going in my life i just need to get there and thats what im strggling with atm. there is so much going on in my life with family, friends, school and even just personally. and i just waqnt time alone with my god to be renewed and have a soul revival.
the lead pastor at my church was talking at church on sunday about how earlier in the yeasr we took time off to rest and have a soul revival... he was really honest and real with us and that made me appreciate what he had to sa more as he was vanurable. WHat he said got me thinking about how God wants us to have a sabbasth day each week. i then think aobut my schedule and how my week is filled and how little time i just have to rest in it.
It got me thinking about how everyone can push me as hard as they want and tell me to do this and suggest this but unless i actually have the motivation to do it i wont do it...i need to start fresh with my thinking about my achievement at school...
My plan at the start of the year was positive thinknig and positive comments...now...they are good but not always practical...bad day does not always equal faking a smile and saying things are okay...you cant always be happy and positive coz somedays things just suck...SO
new plan...
Be honest with how im feeling sbout things...especially school related things...ask for help...not just with school work but with life and things that bother me.
ALSO.... start fresh with my achievement...doesnt matter what hapened last term...this term i will do good...i will get a C in history and all other subjects will be high B's or low A's!!!!
please pray for me and that i can do it!
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