The Real Nicole.

My phone broke recently and i was unable to afford a quality phone but desperately needed a phone so i bought a Nokia 101 which cost me $40. Since using this phone i have learnt a lot. it is possible to still be connected but on a more personal level when you dont have the easy option of social media. It is possible to not have your phone on you at all times, eg; when going to the toilet, while waiting in line.  Its possible to leave my phone in another room or in my handbag for long periods of time without a need to use it. technology has changed the way people catch buses, get directions, tell a story about things they saw randomly.  i actually have a fair amount of time in my day i can use for other things. Not having access to internet or having a camera on my photo i was restricted to texting or making phone calls and it was awesome! I read my bible (like a real paper bible) on the bus or as i waited for things, i prayed when waiting in line or going to...

  Last Friday, I was given the opportunity to preach at youth.  This is my message from that evening.   Have you ever built a house or done renos on your house? Turn to the person next to you and share about if you have ever done some building work. Or the building work you want to do if you could do anything to your house.   When Sam and I were little we used to play with our lego. We would build a whole town on Sam’s car mat. It would take us a couple of hours to build the shops and police station and school, and mansion at the end of the street. These houses were amazing they would be mansions not just with an exterior wall but with internal rooms and interior doors, a 2nd storey with staircase, even occasionally a 3rd story, we used to just build more and more on the more people we would find in our lego box or the more we would realised the kinds of rooms they could have, a gym would be added, a craft room, toy room, roof top car park and b...

Im a youth leader and the youth intern at my church, this means I get to do some really exciting things but also some really boring thing. Each week I spend one day in the church office, doing admin tasks such as updating the database with contact details, write letters, make the youth program, call places to book things, organising many of the details for youth camps.   I also have to write studies for our youth group and write devotions.   Part of my role as a youth leader is to have a bunch of fun while looking after, caring and contacting the youth im responsible for.   Each week I hang out with youth in small groups and talk about whats going on in their lives, talk faith and have heaps of fun.   I contact my girls most weeks to remind them of details for events and catch up and there are a few youth who I mentor so I have deeper conversations with about whats going on in their lives and support and encourage them in their faith.      I ...

The last month of so ive been reminded of where i was faith wise in high school.  I was asked about why i started this blog to which i think it was becuase i had so much faith questions, or how God was using me and challenging me and i wanted to share it with others.  I was reminded by a good friend and youth pastor that he remembers being in meetings for schools chaplaincy and my name getting mentioned as they talked about how passionate i was so see God's name prevail in my school, and how he had only just realised i was the same Nicole :) I reflect on the now, how my faith has turned into action now, am i living as passionately and as dangerously as i was in high school? my faith in high school seemed so simple, conversation about faith didnt end in a debate about the history of religion or the validity of the bible, it didnt result in comments and questions about groups of chirstians or churches who had made very public mistakes or had interesting methods or beliefs....

These July Holidays I road tripped to Sydney with a team from my church for Hillsong Conference. It was AMAZING! I went to confernece hoping to get a real passion for my faith and a passionate vision for incredible things. I wanted to become a person that God spoke to so clearly about vision and exciting things and i wanted to become crazy for Jesus. I had an amazing time at Hillsong. God spoke, i listened, i build community with a group of people i wasnt heaps close too, and i learnt a lot about myself. Pastor Steven Furtick spoke at Conference and one of his talks was titled, you are never really ready. this message spoke to me, im in a stage in my life where im trying to work out what i want to do with the rest of it, where my study will lead me, what kind of lifestyle i want in the future and what kind of career i want and most importantly, how im going to use my life to serve God. I have (i think) answers to many of this questions but i question a lot about how i can d...

last year, was not my year. The study I was doing I was not achieving in, I felt distant and lonely and I struggled to see myself as worthy and didn’t know who I was. I declared that 2012 would be the year of Nicole, a year where I achieved in study, a year where things worked for me and a year where I found myself deeply rooted in solid ministry, friendships and the love of Christ. So one of my questions of reflection has been how is the year of Nicole been working out for me? This year started off with a bang, i got my internship at my church working with youth and started studying at the Uniting College of Leadership and Theology doing a Bachelor of Ministry. I made some amazing friends at college and i actually am doing well in my study. I got my P Plate license which means i got more independence and freedom. So far the year of Nicole has been great, ive had so really tough times with study and some tough times in my internship and tough times as i question my developing ...

Today i took a few of my youth kids to a youth conference. it was a great conference and totally awesome to see people of so many different ages, worshipping and serving wholeheartedly. In the talks the speaker talked about having a vision for 2020 and looking toward that goal now, and working at that now. All the young people in that room will have finished high school by 2020, and be adults of at least 20y/o which is about how old i am, which was weird as i sat there thinking about that. i thought about where i wanted to be in 2020 - thats 8 years away making me 28 years old! There is so many things i hope i have achieved by then, but i am so confused and challeneged by what God wants me to have done and be doing by then. i always imagined i would be married   - with a child or two by the time i was 28 i WILL be finished studying ! I think i want to be a youth pastor   I think i want to do ministry   i want to have travelled overseas before im 28 ...

This week has been a funny week for me in terms of head space, i was struggling with something and i didnt know who to turn to and felt quite lonely because i felt like i didnt have any female friends to chit chat about the silly things with (looking back, i realise how silly that thought was then). I decided to first turn to God, i told Him of how lonely i felt and that i was struggling with something but wasnt ready to tell Him about it yet, but that i needed a good quality friend to cross my path at the right time to talk this over and remind me that i needed to give it over to Him. The next day this situation was on my mind all day and i just repeated, God give me someone to share my struggle with. Evening arrived and i still had stuff on my mind, i had logged on to Facebook but wasnt doing anything on it, aimlessly scrolling while watching TV, my laptop was sitting next to me for a while and i noticed one of my best friends who i had'nt spoken to in a few weeks had started ...

At church on Sunday night the sermon was titled Beyond Doubt, it was looking at John 20:24-29. It was such a powerful message and something i was challenged with enough to bring me to tears. This passage talks about one of the disciples, Thomas who wasnt with the others when they saw the risen Lord. He struggled to believe that it was true because he hadnt seen it. For more then a week he told his friends the disciples of his struggles and wrestled with his doubt. But He never gave up on Jesus even through his doubt. i think my head went on a little side track, but when thinking about the doubt Thomas had and the fact that he still tried to find out more about Jesus and kinda continue his faith through it. It challenged me as i thought of the doubt i had, not in God necessarily but in myself and that i often give up on it and that Thomas didnt let his doubt rule him so why do i. Also because Thomas was honest about where he was his heart was open to accept later. Ive been struggl...

Over easter every year our church runs a youth camp at one of the most beautiful places in Australia, Ankara Campsite in Walker Flat on the River Murray. This year i lead and did a bunch of organising for the camp. I really enjoy organising camps and big events, i feel like its something im good at, thinking of a whole lot of things which people often think of, this might be because i love camps, ive been on so many like seriously, in 2011 i went on over 15 camps. One feeling that is always thought during camp is that at teh end of camp people dont want to go home, they like the sense of community and the way in which they can get into habit of worship, prayerand be with an awesome group of people. Last night the Easter Camp gathered for dinner as a thanks and reflection of what happened on camp, again i was reminded about this sense that people wished they were back at camp. I too reflected on how great camp was and how much i loved being there but i also reflected on the fa...

At life group we got talking about if we hear a whisper from God that we should follow but get scared and does that happen often and what would happen if we followed those sometimes strange whispers what would our world look like. it got me thinking about what the world would look like if we as christians made more of an intentional act to declare our faith. if we as we greeted each other asked how God was present in our lives since we last saw each other. if we as christians talked more about what we had read in the bible, rather then the reality tv shows we enjoy, the boybands we hate and how expensive petrol is. ive been challenged to ask those harder questions about faith rather than just sit with surface level chatter. I want to make God more present in our world through the talk of what is is doing which we over look or dont mention. i want to make God famous! My prayer is that this will become more of a culture in my community and around the world. please join with me in thi...

1 Timothy 3:1-12 talks about the qualifications for overseers and Deacons - i hadnt read this passage until this year when it was a passage that our youth pastor gave to our youth leadership team as a reminder of how to live our life and as leaders what we should do. 1 Here is a trustworthy saying: Whoever aspires to be an overseer desires a noble task. 2 Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, 3 not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. 4 He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full[a] respect. 5 (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?) 6 He must not be a recent convert, or he may become conceited and fall under the same judgment as the devil. 7 He must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into ...

I just love passion that draws emotion, things that make people cry because they wont stand of injustice or because their love for something is so great. A few youth nights ago i was both a victim and witness to this beauty. I got passionate while band rehearsal and set up was happening, some of the older people in the band stated that my brother who was on drums wasnt a good enough drummer to drive the music and they asked him not to play. i was mad, i was defensive and i was passionate about the band being a youth focus and about giving the youth a shot. i got upset and i got passionate about making it a good experience for all. THe situation worked out in the end my brother played and did amazing and i think the idea of a youth focussed band was given through my passion. The passion i witnessed was from our new youth pastor, i think that night he definately proved his heart for youth ministry. He got up to talk and it was after we had sung "your love never fails, it never ...

At the start of every year my church has whats called a vision sunday. Its where the pastors and directors of different ministries get the opportunity to share what the vision for their ministry is and how God has worked in the last year. I find it to be a really encouraging and motivating time as we are a whole church get to celebrate in the work of the Lord and as a community see the struggles that ministries often face in amongst the Joy. Being youth intern at my church for this year i got the privellege to speak at our evening service about my vision for the youth girls i lead. I love to talk, i love to dream but i find public speaking really difficult and i find sharing my deepest desires and passion is difficult. On sunday had to get up and talk infront of roughly 150 people on what my heart was saying. it was tough getting up and speaking, my heart comes out more pasionately through writing then it does through speaking. Currently at my church i have a group of junior high g...

My church has a bible reading and journelling plan call the HOPE journal. Ive been trying to get into it this year and although many days i have forgotten, the days i have done it, i have been rewarded in the message i recieved from reading Gods word. Today i was struck but a message in Acts 14 8 In Lystra there sat a man who was lame. He had been that way from birth and had never walked. 9 He listened to Paul as he was speaking. Paul looked directly at him, saw that he had faith to be healed 10 and called out, “Stand up on your feet!” At that, the man jumped up and began to walk. Often i think we are hesitant in taking steps of faith. We heard God tell us to do something but stop and think about the concequences around it. we weigh up the past and start slow before we take the steps of faith. Verse 10 - “Stand up on your feet!” At that, the man jumped up and began to walk. spoke into my life about just doing it against all odds. This man had never walked before and yet when he wa...

This week i was journelling and was reading through Acts. As i read Acts 7:49-50 stood out to me. “‘Heaven is my throne, and the earth is my footstool. What kind of house will you build for me? says the Lord. Or where will my resting place be? 50 Has not my hand made all these things?’ In particular the one line What kind of house will you build for me? I was really challeneged as to what this question was asking me for my personal life but also for the ministry i get the privellege to lead. What kind of House are we building for the youth in our church and local community to come and glorify God in? What kind of House am i building? will it be a good example of Jesus in all I do? I have been really challenged this week to look at how God can be glorified in theplaces i go, the events i run and in my life aswell. I nkow i havent got it all worked out yet i know there are definatly areas in which i personally can grow as well as the ministries im apart of. But i also ...

God is so good!!! New years eve on CE camp we have this service called a watchnight. We sing worship to God and there is an opportunity for open mic to shareabout what God has done in your life over the past year. just before midnight there is an opportunity for those who want to give their lives to God. I want to share two stories from that night. Firstly there wasa young girl about 15 there who had fallen over during our camp softball match the night before cut her leg quite bad and twisted and bruised her ankle. She was unable to walk around camp and had been carried by some of the guys for over a day. She got up and shared her story and the guy hosting asked to pray for her leg. She was carried back up to her seat after that. just after midnight we were all dancing and worshipping and during a song she gets carried down and placed in the middle of the stage. she stands up and jumps. her ankle supports her weight. the camp nurse came running and unstrapped it. no brusing or swellin...

I went on CE camp over New Years like i have done for the last few years. This year we were privilleged to have Tim Hawkins speaking to us for Romans 8. I had read Romans 8 this year through ES and really liked Romans 8 because it taught me that we were free of condemnation Vs 1 "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" On camp however i was challenged and provoked by different verses vs14-16 "14 For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. 15 The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship.[f] And by him we cry, “Abba,[g] Father.” 16 The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. 17 Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. the idea of being a child of God made s...