The Real Nicole.

 I’ve just finished reading ‘Post Traumatic Church Syndrome’ by Reba Riley and I found this book really life giving and validating for my faith experience.  You see, over the last few years I’ve been wrestling with the deconstruction of my faith which was so tightly held in my teens and also wrestling with the sense of call to ministry which I feel so strongly, even when it feels like I am so anti church.  Reading this book helped me to have words for my experience over the last few years and in an interview I did for radio recently, I found words to articulate the wrestle I’ve had. I don’t identify as a Christian, not because I don’t believe those things but because that label has been used to do a lot of damage. I am a person of faith. Faith in a God who loves unconditionally, faith in an institution that continues to seek new ways to love and express this good news. Faith in there being Hope, in the life and witness of Jesus and in the institution of the church and hop...

 It's been 200 days since restrictions came into place for the Covid19 Pandemic and i've been in various lockdown restrictions. I've been in a mood  for about a week now. I want to be really clear straight up, I think the restrictions are completely necessary and I am grateful that I have been kept safe and healthy from what is a very contagious virus and im thankful that by these restrictions i've been able to keep vulnerable people around me safe.  The thing is, i've just had enough. In Melbourne, things really suck and it's still a while until things are going to get better. We have done an amazing job going from 700 cases a day to 14 a day. But its been a long 6 months. And with new clusters and little outbreaks around the place, its still long from over.  Its been a long time of being alone, of not seeing friends or family, its been a long time of not being able to do things such as shopping or exercising the way you are used to. A long time of checking you...

One thing that totally blows my mind and overwhelms me is how much my life has changed in 6 months.  Now I don't mean that in a bad way, because some of the things I've done and achieved is awesome. But it really does shock me.  6 months ago I was living at home and leading in the youth group of the church I grew up in. I wasn't unhappy, I fact I loved it, I was exploring what God wanted me to do though. With my whole life for a long time. I like details, and I don't feel like I have very many in that category. But God has sent me on this awesome journey to the country and I really love it here. I love the community and the slower pace, I love that I feel safe walking around and generally being here and there is loo worry about doors not being locked and stuff.  I love the sporting community and atmosphere, I totally would have done sport growing up if it was like that in the city and you didn't have to pay a million bucks and be elite to get good sporting communi...