The Real Nicole.

I want to start by saying, if anything I say is triggering to you. Please stop reading and seek help. Mental health is a massive jerk.  There isn't really many other ways to put it. Mental health ruins lives, families, and communities. We have a problem in Australia. You see, too many people are dying from suicide every year. Heck too many people are dying each day due to suicide. Where is God? What is the hope for the future? And why the heck aren't more people training and trying to understand mental health situations. Now don't get me wrong, we have done a fair bit over the last few years to reduce the stigma of mental health, but we still have so far to go. The past 4 years of my life have been a massive eye opening experience to me about the mental health of my peers, friends, and people I meet even in day to days interactions. I have spent countless hours texting young people in crisis and ensurin they have someone safe to listen to them. I have spent too ...

I often talk about calling and how I so strongly felt called to move to the country to do youth ministry. I talk about wanting to listen to what God has to say about the ministry I am passionate about.  But what happens if the logistics and realities of life seem to be getting in between my calling?  For the last couple of weeks I fasted, 21 days in a Daniel fast. Meals consisting of fruit and vegetable. A spiritual practice I hadn't tried before. I did this for a few reasons. I wanted to learn some disciple in my faith. I wanted to intentionally spend time trying to draw closer to God. I wanted to allow space in my life to hear from God, particularly on matters of importance around calling and the future. I also wanted to pray around the finances of our church as it was in a bad situation.  What did I learn and hear during my fast? Not a lot and quite a lot.  I learnt that while food is a love language and a place which welcomes hospitality; for me it ...

Every Monday I'm asked a couple of questions. Every Monday I spend a while pondering and trying to justify myself. Every Monday I feel myself testing out how genuine I am.  You see I'm in a group for country leaders who are connected with Christian Endeavour camps in SA.  This group is here to support encourage and resource country people.  Every Monday I'm asked; 1. Where have I seen God at work this last week? 2. What can the CE community pray for in my region/life? They aren't complicated questions, and in general I'm really thankful that there are people asking regularly because i am reminded to reflect and be observant of what's happening in and around me.  The thing I struggle with in these questions on a Monday is that I want to give an ideal and make it sound like things are amazing. But sometimes I can't see God at work. Sometimes I can't hear God and sometimes I just don't know what in the region or my town is expressing...