The Real Nicole.

 I’ve just finished reading ‘Post Traumatic Church Syndrome’ by Reba Riley and I found this book really life giving and validating for my faith experience.  You see, over the last few years I’ve been wrestling with the deconstruction of my faith which was so tightly held in my teens and also wrestling with the sense of call to ministry which I feel so strongly, even when it feels like I am so anti church.  Reading this book helped me to have words for my experience over the last few years and in an interview I did for radio recently, I found words to articulate the wrestle I’ve had. I don’t identify as a Christian, not because I don’t believe those things but because that label has been used to do a lot of damage. I am a person of faith. Faith in a God who loves unconditionally, faith in an institution that continues to seek new ways to love and express this good news. Faith in there being Hope, in the life and witness of Jesus and in the institution of the church and hop...

It started when I was road tripping with some friends and we were talking all things life, faith and future related.  I had read in my uni reading that week about vocation and was internally wrestling with my sense of call towards ministry.  The conversation was a good one, it was honest vulnerable and real, we talked about spiritual gifts and leadership, we talked about having a heart for God and a head knowledge. I shared about how I was struggling.  Struggling to make my faith personal, and deep. Struggling to focus on God and how I was often distracted by ministry and other peoples trials.  I shared that my desire was to fall more in love with God.  To be passionate and emotional about the faith I have.  I shared about how I compared who I was to others around me and how much that detracted from what I felt and knew myself.  My road trip friends encouraged me in my faith, challenging me to focus on my personal spiritual disciplines and focusing on ...