The Real Nicole.

I saw this cartoon by naked pastor in March right at the start of the COVID-19 pandemic lockdown and I wondered if Pastor Don might actually be me by the end of the lockdown. Now I didn’t imagine we wouldn’t meet as a congregation for 38 weeks and that I’d only be there for 3 before finishing up in my role as pastor, but hey that’s what happened.  My role being made redundant has forced me to confront the questions and challenges in my head, face on and question what is next for me in terms of church, worship, ministry and a place of belonging.  It’s no secret that I struggle with a Sunday liturgy, the motions and rules and rhythm of worship, do not interest me, I find it hard to see God in those words and would much rather be at morning tea talking over life and theology with the community.  The COVID-19 pandemic has forced us as a society to reconsider many things, and I wonder if we have done enough thinking or if when we were/are able if we have snuck back to our o...

 I’ve just finished reading ‘Post Traumatic Church Syndrome’ by Reba Riley and I found this book really life giving and validating for my faith experience.  You see, over the last few years I’ve been wrestling with the deconstruction of my faith which was so tightly held in my teens and also wrestling with the sense of call to ministry which I feel so strongly, even when it feels like I am so anti church.  Reading this book helped me to have words for my experience over the last few years and in an interview I did for radio recently, I found words to articulate the wrestle I’ve had. I don’t identify as a Christian, not because I don’t believe those things but because that label has been used to do a lot of damage. I am a person of faith. Faith in a God who loves unconditionally, faith in an institution that continues to seek new ways to love and express this good news. Faith in there being Hope, in the life and witness of Jesus and in the institution of the church and hop...

At around 25 years old, I entered a stage in life which was sort of like a quarter life crisis. I had left my ministry job in a place I loved and was feeling unsure where I was going next. I was having an identity crisis. Who was I? what was I called to and who was calling me? I searched for answers to these questions for the next few years, finding fulfilment in other ministry roles, working through being deferred from candidating for ministry, in friendships and relationships and searching for meaning in church theology, governance and polity. I blogged my confusion of identity reflecting on the popular song, ‘This Is Me’ from the movie; The Greatest Showman, explaining, “ I found myself nose-deep in books about theology and found myself for the first time actually researching and reading in an attempt to understand what I was thinking.  I have found myself stripping back my commitments in hope of finding where my passions beat most strongly.  I have left communities and fri...

I was asked to speak at a Church in Naracoorte in December about how i had been called and ended up in Naracoorte.  I also shared this similar story/message to the campers and leaders at CE Camp. Hello my name is Nicole Mugford, I’m 22 years old and I have grown up in the north eastern suburbs of Adelaide until moved to Naracoorte in February when I began working as the Youth pastor at the Uniting church and more recently in the second semester as Christian Pastoral Support Worker at Naracoorte Primary School. I'll tell you more about my roles later but first let me tell you a bit about my journey to getting here and how God has paved the way for me.  I don’t really have a testimony of a life of sin and turning from it, but I don’t have a story of faithfully growing up in a Christian home either.  My family have had a connection with church for a long time but not regular attenders.  After being invited to a kids club during primary school, my mum built conn...

One thing that totally blows my mind and overwhelms me is how much my life has changed in 6 months.  Now I don't mean that in a bad way, because some of the things I've done and achieved is awesome. But it really does shock me.  6 months ago I was living at home and leading in the youth group of the church I grew up in. I wasn't unhappy, I fact I loved it, I was exploring what God wanted me to do though. With my whole life for a long time. I like details, and I don't feel like I have very many in that category. But God has sent me on this awesome journey to the country and I really love it here. I love the community and the slower pace, I love that I feel safe walking around and generally being here and there is loo worry about doors not being locked and stuff.  I love the sporting community and atmosphere, I totally would have done sport growing up if it was like that in the city and you didn't have to pay a million bucks and be elite to get good sporting communi...

God called me and I answered, and that is while I'm here now. its been a crazy journey to get here. The beginning of the story starts here... In late December of 2012 i was first time leading of CE Camp and had an awesome group of 16 year olds.  On of these girls was from a country area.  She told me of the struggle it was to be a christian teenager in the country because she was the only one her age and the youth group was just an occasional dinner or something at the ministers house with her younger sister and a few others.  I left that conversation thinking that someone who was passionate about youth should really go out to the country and support them and care about them because that's what they were passionate about rather than that was a need to address.   About a week later (Jan 2013) i was at Beach mission and talking with the Minister of Naracoorte UC who was on the team. I was talking about the plans i had that year to serve in my church with ca...

It's been a long time since I've blogged. My life has experienced a lot of changes recently. Last year I really struggled with study and life, it got the better of me and I ended up spending a lot of time curled up in a ball crying. One thing I really learnt in that time was that I really did wanna trust God wholeheartedly and follow all He had planned for my life. I also realised that I had a wider support network and friends than I thought and that these people were prepared to stay with me no matter what I faced.  The biggest thing in my life probably ever was that I got a job as a youth pastor and moved out of home and 400kms away from where I had spent my whole life so far. I moved to the country.  The story isn't as easy as that though, God totally blew my mind with the way He revealed himself to me and its kinda been a crazy adventure. - I'll give you the whole story in my next post! Also over the summer i was involved in CE Camp as a leader as well as B...

Early last year i wrote a blog about a passage that spoke about family and being a leader in the church.  I seriously questioned if i was good enough to lead or if i was disqualified from leading in the church because of the broken relationships in my life.  You can read about it here....     http://nicole7992.blogspot.com.au/2012/04/am-i-qualified.html When i wrote that blog i didn't really think i could do much with these relationships and it felt like a weight on me, i was reminded however by friends that I could used my story to help young people going through the same to find a way out. Even though i knew this i didn't feel that freedom as a leader with it all. This term i have been on Uni placement and i have been looking at the role of a school chaplain.  This placed me in a school context.  i was at Kings Baptist Grammar School which is a private school in the northern suburbs, it is such a beautiful school with such a lovely community.  Th...

In the last 6 months 3 people i knew well for a period of my life have passed away.  Each and everyone of these lives were precious and its such a tragedy. On reflection of these lives which were lost so young i think about what our culture is saying and why this is happening. People being told who they are isn't good enough, people investing so much into individuals/success and losing it all when something falls apart and not knowing how to cope or people living life with the idea of #yolo (you only live once) .  Of course this is just a generalisation but i dont know what to do about this.  Its bothering me that people are losing their lives, and their loved ones for things that shouldnt happen. How can we change culture so that we don't lose our young people?  how can we raise a generation of young people to learn to value the realities of life and help them better face the challenges that come?  I dont think culture is just killing our young people ph...

About a month ago we took our youth kids on a night hike.  I am so fortunate to live in such a beautiful place that within 30mins we had walked from our church in the suburbs into the foot hills and were beginning to climb the hills.  As i had thought about the evening earlier in the day and as we gathered as leaders to pray before the youth arrived, i felt a real sense that we needed to take up the idea that "noone walks alone". What did that look like though? Did that just mean physically that everyone had a walking buddy or was there more to that phrase.  As i prayed and reflected i thought about many different things, firstly the physical aspect of the fact that many youth would be coming and not actually have anyone to walk with and the importance of them not walking alone.  But i felt like it was more than that, i felt like this "noone walks alone" was meaning more than just physically walking. I felt like it was calling us to think about the conver...