With the children...
"Well, it must be so fun and full of joy to always get to play with children for your job. Colouring in, bubbles and craft, I have the older ones- teenagers, they are starting to have the real issues, its difficult, doing what I do, it must be for easy and fun for you."
This was the start of a conversation I found myself in the other week, in that moment I had a choice of responses to make, I could either;
A) Smile and agree
B) shut them down, argue and tell them about the 'real issues' I had faced with the children in my care in that last fortnight.
C) smile and tell them how its not always that simple and easy but how its a privilege to walk alongside and listen to children in the joy of colouring in and the pain of life.
I chose option C. Even though I really wanted to take option B and get all 'real issues' on them.
You see it really is a privilege to walk alongside and listen to children, and sometimes it is fun and games and full of bubbles and craft and colouring in. But sometimes its full of the brokenness that exists in the world around us. Some days I sit in my office after a child has left the room after disclosing something heartbreaking and cry about how helpless I feel to protect these precious people. Some days I feel physically sick while I sit and do a mandatory report for abuse or neglect.
I know I'm not alone in my frustration of being disregarded with the role of ministry with children. I know of Sunday School teachers who desperately want to preach but have been discounted as only applicable to do children talks. I've heard the sighs from people who organise playgroups, kids clubs and messy church activities and are told time and time again how lovely they must feel to get to have the fun with the children while the difficult things happen in the adult ministry spaces. I get told I'm so lucky I get it so easy and fun every time I mention to someone I work as a primary school chaplain.
Children ask some of the best questions, they challenge us to wonder and explore and be adventurous. The things in our world that are broken and cause despair to adults cause distress and pain to young people too.
I'm so sick of being told its so lovely the fun things I do with young people. Its so devaluing of the difficult conversations, questions and challenges that I walk alongside with young people everyday in my ministry. I'm so sick of justifying the ministry I do as a valid form of ministry and something which I feel called to, rather than something I'm doing until I can do the real adult stuff.
When you see me in action, I probably don't use the right words or act the right way to make you think I would be capable of pastorally caring in the real issues of the world. I probably don't look like the person who could preach a message to adults faced with difficult circumstances. But don't let my ripped jeans, typical youth camp hoodie and sparkly glitter shoes distract you from the ministry I'm doing. Don't let your perceptions of a minister fool you into thinking that I am not qualified. I've walked with children and adults through domestic violence, mental health struggles, family suicide, terminal illness, the death of a child, drug and alcohol abuse, abuse - sexual, physical, emotional, family breakdown, marriage breakdown, social issues, future direction, just to name a few situations. I have done theological reflections, had discussions, answered questions around all these topics.
I don't say that to make myself look good, because I know that there are many other people who work with young people who are doing the same. I say this because we need to work out how to change the perception of people and educate people so that the conversations about the 'fun easy ministry of children' don't happen anymore. We need to work out how to address this lack of recognition that ministry with young people isn't the real deal. We need to work out how to recognise people using their passions, skills and ministry with young people.
There is so much real stuff going on in community with young people. Come grieve with young people, come wonder with young people, come challenge the normal with young people, come and see amazing leaders being themselves, being incredible and being resilient in the face of pain, heartbreak and brokenness. Don't just wait for these leaders to step out of the 'introduction ministries' and get into the 'real stuff' See them in the thick of the real stuff and thriving and loving it.
This was the start of a conversation I found myself in the other week, in that moment I had a choice of responses to make, I could either;
A) Smile and agree
B) shut them down, argue and tell them about the 'real issues' I had faced with the children in my care in that last fortnight.
C) smile and tell them how its not always that simple and easy but how its a privilege to walk alongside and listen to children in the joy of colouring in and the pain of life.
I chose option C. Even though I really wanted to take option B and get all 'real issues' on them.
You see it really is a privilege to walk alongside and listen to children, and sometimes it is fun and games and full of bubbles and craft and colouring in. But sometimes its full of the brokenness that exists in the world around us. Some days I sit in my office after a child has left the room after disclosing something heartbreaking and cry about how helpless I feel to protect these precious people. Some days I feel physically sick while I sit and do a mandatory report for abuse or neglect.
I know I'm not alone in my frustration of being disregarded with the role of ministry with children. I know of Sunday School teachers who desperately want to preach but have been discounted as only applicable to do children talks. I've heard the sighs from people who organise playgroups, kids clubs and messy church activities and are told time and time again how lovely they must feel to get to have the fun with the children while the difficult things happen in the adult ministry spaces. I get told I'm so lucky I get it so easy and fun every time I mention to someone I work as a primary school chaplain.
Children ask some of the best questions, they challenge us to wonder and explore and be adventurous. The things in our world that are broken and cause despair to adults cause distress and pain to young people too.
I'm so sick of being told its so lovely the fun things I do with young people. Its so devaluing of the difficult conversations, questions and challenges that I walk alongside with young people everyday in my ministry. I'm so sick of justifying the ministry I do as a valid form of ministry and something which I feel called to, rather than something I'm doing until I can do the real adult stuff.
When you see me in action, I probably don't use the right words or act the right way to make you think I would be capable of pastorally caring in the real issues of the world. I probably don't look like the person who could preach a message to adults faced with difficult circumstances. But don't let my ripped jeans, typical youth camp hoodie and sparkly glitter shoes distract you from the ministry I'm doing. Don't let your perceptions of a minister fool you into thinking that I am not qualified. I've walked with children and adults through domestic violence, mental health struggles, family suicide, terminal illness, the death of a child, drug and alcohol abuse, abuse - sexual, physical, emotional, family breakdown, marriage breakdown, social issues, future direction, just to name a few situations. I have done theological reflections, had discussions, answered questions around all these topics.
I don't say that to make myself look good, because I know that there are many other people who work with young people who are doing the same. I say this because we need to work out how to change the perception of people and educate people so that the conversations about the 'fun easy ministry of children' don't happen anymore. We need to work out how to address this lack of recognition that ministry with young people isn't the real deal. We need to work out how to recognise people using their passions, skills and ministry with young people.
There is so much real stuff going on in community with young people. Come grieve with young people, come wonder with young people, come challenge the normal with young people, come and see amazing leaders being themselves, being incredible and being resilient in the face of pain, heartbreak and brokenness. Don't just wait for these leaders to step out of the 'introduction ministries' and get into the 'real stuff' See them in the thick of the real stuff and thriving and loving it.
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