Am I Qualified???

1 Timothy 3:1-12 talks about the qualifications for overseers and Deacons - i hadnt read this passage until this year when it was a passage that our youth pastor gave to our youth leadership team as a reminder of how to live our life and as leaders what we should do.

1 Here is a trustworthy saying: Whoever aspires to be an overseer desires a noble task. 2 Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, 3 not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. 4 He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full[a] respect. 5 (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?) 6 He must not be a recent convert, or he may become conceited and fall under the same judgment as the devil. 7 He must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the devil’s trap.
8 In the same way, deacons[b] are to be worthy of respect, sincere, not indulging in much wine, and not pursuing dishonest gain. 9 They must keep hold of the deep truths of the faith with a clear conscience. 10 They must first be tested; and then if there is nothing against them, let them serve as deacons.

11 In the same way, the women[c] are to be worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything.

12 A deacon must be faithful to his wife and must manage his children and his household well. 13 Those who have served well gain an excellent standing and great assurance in their faith in Christ Jesus.

I was really challenged by this passage as i reflected on my own life and questioned whether this was a life i was aiming to live or if i had not though many of these things were important. one verse which particularly struck me was verse 4 and 5 about family.

There are many issues with my family, i dont have it sorted out and i dont even being to think i have it in control. this verse makes me question if i worthy enough to lead in the brokenness that is my family. if i dont have it together what kind of example can i be to the people i lead. but my family is never going to work its issues out, its never going to be whole. Does my family disqualify me from leading in God's church?

I question a lot about what qualifies me to lead and what makes me worthy to lead, and if im honest i dont know the answer, i dont know if im good enough to lead, i dont know if im qualified to lead in gods church, but i know that in the bible we were told to go out and make disciples in all the nations and im trying to do that in the best way i know, i may be broken and unqualified but my God is bigger than ALL things and i believe he will use any broken piece of me to have a chance to build His kingdom more.