That feeling... you just cant throw...
So some of my friends have previously come to me wanting support because they have depression and cant seem to shake their mood. I've always tried to be there for them but ive always struggled to understand depression and other such mental health issues even though ive always wanted to understand so i could support.
I couldnt see why people didnt stop reflecting on the negative and started looking to the stuff that was going right in thier life. i just didnt get it no matter how hard i tried.
Luckly my friends have mostly gone through that stage of their life now and are recovering and moving on from the things which were holding them down.
right now i have that feeling i cant throw. its an awful place to be in. I see the wider picture and have responsibility and feel the need to have what i do sorted out to be able to effectivelt lead and be a role model. but to be honest im hurting. i feel empty, cloudy and alone. i want to cry but i want to look tough. it sucks. i dont know where to turn and who to talk too. i dont want to be treated different and i dont want to be labelled. I want to be happy. I want to feel free to serve my Lord and my community in His name.
I understand now more about these things and i think im thankful for that. I'm also thankful for people who dont judge or label or put in a box but for those who just pray and offer a coffee and a chat or phone call!
Im mostly thankful that i have a God that loves me even when i dont love myself or when i dont understand whats going on, I love that i have a God that says come to me those who are weary and burdened and i will give you rest (matt 11:28) I love that i can just be real about everything to God even if he is the only one. And mostly i love that i can have Hope for the future through Him and even if things suck now i know that things wont be like this forever.
And knowing all that makes me feel a whole lot better about myself and whats going on in my head right now.
I couldnt see why people didnt stop reflecting on the negative and started looking to the stuff that was going right in thier life. i just didnt get it no matter how hard i tried.
Luckly my friends have mostly gone through that stage of their life now and are recovering and moving on from the things which were holding them down.
right now i have that feeling i cant throw. its an awful place to be in. I see the wider picture and have responsibility and feel the need to have what i do sorted out to be able to effectivelt lead and be a role model. but to be honest im hurting. i feel empty, cloudy and alone. i want to cry but i want to look tough. it sucks. i dont know where to turn and who to talk too. i dont want to be treated different and i dont want to be labelled. I want to be happy. I want to feel free to serve my Lord and my community in His name.
I understand now more about these things and i think im thankful for that. I'm also thankful for people who dont judge or label or put in a box but for those who just pray and offer a coffee and a chat or phone call!
Im mostly thankful that i have a God that loves me even when i dont love myself or when i dont understand whats going on, I love that i have a God that says come to me those who are weary and burdened and i will give you rest (matt 11:28) I love that i can just be real about everything to God even if he is the only one. And mostly i love that i can have Hope for the future through Him and even if things suck now i know that things wont be like this forever.
And knowing all that makes me feel a whole lot better about myself and whats going on in my head right now.
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